Adventures in Human Sitting
by FantasiaWandering
Summary: The advantage of having such a huge adoptive family is that you're never lacking a place to stay. But sometimes the learning curve on "how to care for your tiny human" can be a little steep.
1. Chapter 1: Homework

"If train A leaves the station travelling at 50 kilometres per hour, and train B leaves a station two hundred miles away travelling at 25 kilometres per hour, when will the two trains pass each other?" Artie blinks at the question and lets out a low groan, pushing the textbook away with one foot as they flop back on the carpet. You don't try to catch them this time. The carpet in your bedroom at your brothers' house is thick and soft enough, with its cheerful pattern of tiny white dogs chasing bones around a blue background, that it absorbs most of the impact from Artie's fall. "I hate human textbooks. Why are they all so boring?"

You pull the textbook closer and frown at the question. "I don't know. I don't remember them being this bad. And they don't tell us enough to answer the question. Is Sans on either of those trains? It'll be late if he is. That always happens. Except when he's early."

The floor shakes as a loud banging echoes through the house, and you lunge to catch the pet rock before it topples from your nightstand. You're pretty sure that was Sans' sole contribution to your decor, but he made sure you knew it was there, in case you ever got lonely.

Artie looks up from their sprawl on the rug as you put the rock back more securely on the nightstand. "What was that?"

"Dunno. Undyne's over, so it's either a cooking lesson, or the three of them are fighting over dish duty again-" Your eyes widen as you feel something skip just behind your breastbone, and you throw yourself on top of your friend, pinning them to the ground. Before they can protest, a blue bone shoots up through the floor, phasing through you as it rockets skyward and passes through the roof. "Okay, definitely dishes. Sorry for squashing you."

"Nah, it's okay," Artie says. You push yourself off of them, but don't bother offering to help them 're perfectly capable of doing it themself, and offering to help with something so little just makes them insulted. They roll back to a sitting position far more easily than you do, and reach out with a foot to close the textbook. "Want to switch to science?"

You brighten at that. Science is a lot more fun than math, and the school board is a lot less insistent that you learn human ways of doing it. "Sure! It's gravity, right?" You bounce to your feet, grinning. "I think we should do an experiment. Outside."

Artie grins and stands as well, giving you an affectionate headbump on your shoulder. "Great idea. There's a ton of snow out there just waiting for an experiment. Hang on, just let me get my arms."

Artie bounds over to the corner of your room to where a tangled pile of metal waits, and kicks it toward the carpet, nudging it into place with their feet until two long metal arms stretch out from either side of the sturdy back brace. Moving to stand in front of it, Artie twitches their tail out of the way and falls backward onto it with an ease born of long practice. As soon as they thump into it, the arms twitch to life, and they reach out to fasten the chest straps and lock the arm rig into place. Well, the right arm does. The left arm is twisted at a funny angle and just flops a couple of times, and Artie rolls their eyes. "Hey, can you help?"

Shaking your head, you grab Artie's left hand and give it a good, strong yank. With a squeak of protest, the arm snaps back into proper alignment, and after a few jerky stutters, begins to swing at Artie's side. "You know," you point out as Artie picks up their backpack and opens your door. "Alphys might be right about you being too hard on your arms."

Artie just looks at you. "Frisk, they're made of _metal_ ," they explain, as though it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Metal is _tough_. Now come on, before the snow melts."

"It's February. I don't think it's going anywhere." But they're already running down the stairs, and you hurry to keep up.

At the bottom of the landing, you have to dodge quickly as Undyne and Papyrus roll past. Papyrus is putting up a good fight, but Undyne clearly has the upper hand. "Admit it, Papyrus! The noogie of friendship trumps all other attacks of amiability!"

"NEVER! IT'S NOT NEARLY AS ENTERTAINING AS THE TICKLE FIGHT OF CORDIAL AFFECTION - OW - AND IT HURTS A LOT MORE!"

"Of course it hurts! That's how you know I care! You are filled with the burning passion of my attachment!"

"I AM FILLED WITH A HEADACHE!"

Sidestepping the two adults - well, more or less - currently locked in affectionate combat on your floor, you grab your boots and lean against the couch to pull them on. Sans glances at you from where he's slouched to watch the tussle, and he tilts his head as he notices the boots. " **hey, kiddo. going somewhere?** "

"Science experiment," you answer, struggling with your second boot. "Who won the dish fight?"

" **dunno."** He scratches his head nonchalantly. **"it might have gotten abandoned when i sorta suggested that a true friend would do the dishes. then those two got into a fight about who was the better friend, and wouldn't let the other into the kitchen.** "

You straighten from your quarrel with your boots and stuff your arms into your coat, pulling your mittens on as you go. But when you turn to make a break for the door, Sans is blocking your path, holding the scarf Undyne made for your birthday in his hands. " **whoa, slow down there, buddy. if we let you catch a chill, tori's going to give us the cold shoulder**."

You snicker at the joke, dancing from foot to foot as your mittened hands fumble for your zipper. Sans bats your hands away and zips you up securely before he tugs the furry hood over your hair.

"Okay, I'm good!" You dart past him, but you don't get far before the birthday scarf lassoes you and drags you back. "Aw, come on, Sans!"

" **welp. someone's squirrely today**." Sans starts wrapping the incredibly long scarf around your head. He's got a while to go, since it about twice as long as Undyne is tall.

"You mean 'cause I'm a little nuts?" you ask innocently.

Sans gives a quiet snort of amusement and pats you proudly on the head. " **heh. good one, kid.** " Giving the scarf a ninth and final wrap, he knots it securely at your throat. Most of your face is covered and just your eyes are peeking out over the pink and blue yarn, but at least you're nice and warm.

"Are you done yet?" Artie calls impatiently from the door. "Science is waiting!"

Sans shoves his hands back in his pockets and gives you a curious look. " **what kind of science are you doing, anyway?** "

"Gravity," you answer with a grin, and wink at him before you run for the door.

"UNDYNE, STOP BITING ME, YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK YOUR TEETH AGAIN AND- HEY!" Papyrus struggles to free himself from Undyne's chokehold. "WAIT! I, PAPYRUS, BABYSITTER EXTRAORDINAIRE, WAS NOT CONSULTED ABOUT THIS FIELD TRIP! FRISK, WHAT WOULD TORIEL SAY?"

"It's educational, Papyrus," you call as you pull open the door. "We're doing science!"

And you're free. Laughing, you chase after Artie, leaping down the porch steps and tumbling into the drifting snow. Artie faceplants almost instantly. They figured out how to use their arms for typing in a matter of hours, but they still haven't quite gotten the hang of catching themself when they fall. But the snow is deep and soft, and they're up again in a minute, giggling as they run ahead of you.

The street is largely empty, which works just as well for you. No cars to mess up the nice snow that fell last night. At first, when the skeletons moved into the friendly house at the end of the lane and Undyne and Alphys claimed a house at the top of the street, nobody else wanted to live there. But slowly, over the last year, human families with kids started moving into the empty houses. They're still a little wary around the monsters, but more and more of the kids have started playing with you and Artie on the weekends. They're still in human schools, though, which means you and Artie have the street to yourselves for a while.

"So what are we supposed to be investigating again?" Artie calls over their shoulder.

"If things made of different stuff falls at the same speed," you answer, skidding to a halt next to them at the entrance to the little park halfway down the street. The trees all dropped their leaves ages ago, and the low, strong limbs, perfect for climbing, seem to beckon to you. An idea hits you, and with small gasp, you plunge your hand into the snow and pull out a small, round stone from the decorative landscaping. "I know how we can test it! Quick, make a snowball that looks like this rock!"

You've been friends with Artie long enough that they already know where your idea is going, and if there's one thing Artie loves their robot arms for more than typing, it's climbing. They don't need convincing. It takes just a minute for them to pack a snowball with their feet, and they bend over and grab it in their mouth to free up their hands for the trees.

A second later, Artie cries out, their words muffled a bit by the snowball. "Ack! Brai' freeze!"

"Here, switch." You grab the snowball out of their mouth and stick the rock in its place.

"Be'hr. Tha's Friss!"

Together, you help each other scale the biggest tree until you're sitting on a broad, sturdy branch with a clean drop below you. There was a lot of discussion on your way up the tree about the best way to conduct your experiment, and you're both watching the snowball and the rock intently as you line up your hands, making sure both projectiles are at exactly the same level.

"Okay, ready?" You inch closer, pressing your arm against Artie's so their sensors can feel exactly when you let go. "Three… two… one… NOW!"

Holding your breath, you watch the experiment unfold, your snowball and rock dropping together and picking up speed as they plummet toward the ground - just as Undyne wanders past, clearly looking for you.

"Hey, punk, where are you-"

"-Undyne, no, LOOK OUT!"

Your warning piles on top of her words, but it's too late. The echo of the rock cracking against her head echoes throughout the little park. You and Artie stare down in horrified silence at her as she stands motionless until, very slowly, she tilts her head back.

"Did you," she begins, deep and ominous. "Just drop. A ROCK on me?"

Artie buries their head against your shoulder, and you bite your lip, unsure of what to say. Slowly, you tug the scarf away from your mouth. "I'm so sorry, Undyne."

"You should be," she growls, and picks up the rock. "This… this… is INEXCUSABLE!" With a flex of her hand, the rock crumbles to dust. "WHERE IS THE PASSION? WHERE IS THE ENERGY? THAT IS NOT HOW YOU HIT SOMEONE WITH A PROJECTILE, FRISK!"

She stoops, gathering an armful of snow, and crushes it into a snowball as big as Artie. "This is how you hit someone with a projectile! NGAAAH!"

You and Artie are both screaming, and you cling to each other for dear life as the snowboulder hurtles toward you. It smacks into you a second later, hurling you from the branch in a shower of ice and snow. You scream all the way down until you hit the snow, and the fluffy white drift swallows you whole.

"UNDYNE, HAVE YOU SEEN… WAIT. WAS THAT MY HUMAN?"

"Don't worry, Papyrus, I've got this covered. I'm helping them science. I'm a teacher, yanno."

"YOU'RE A GYM TEACHER!"

"AND YOU'RE AN ASSISTANT GYM TEACHER! SO ASSIST ME!"

You struggle from the snowdrift, coughing and sputtering, and grabArtie's ankle to pull them up after you. Once both of you are mostly free of the snow, you look at each other, and collapse against each other in a fit of giggles.

"So which one of us hit the ground first?" you ask Undyne through your laughter.

Undyne rolls her eyes at you. "Pssh. Like I was paying attention to that."

"Well, we'll just have to do it again." You smile as Papyrus tugs you the rest of the way free of the drift, and you throw your arms around him, clinging tightly so that you can kiss his cheekbone.

He blushes a little, giving a quiet "NYEH-HEH," and brushes the snow from your jacket before looking hopefully at Undyne. "DO YOU THINK THAT'S ENOUGH SCIENCE? HOW ABOUT SOME NICE HOME ECONOMICS INSTEAD?"

"Uhhh, I don't think so." Undyne folds her arms. "The whole point of Science is proving things are repeatable, right? So they have to repeat the experiment until they get a statistically significant conclusion." A second later, she realizes you're all staring at her, and her brows draw together. "What? I DO LISTEN TO ALPHYS, YOU KNOW!"

" **oh, here's where you went.** " Sans ambles up behind Undyne, his hands in his pockets. " **what'd i miss?** "

"Science!" Undyne strikes a pose.

Artie finally manages to clear all of the snow out of their eyes, and blinks up at Undyne. "Yo, Teach, aren't you cold?"

With a glance down at her bare arms, Undyne scoffs. "Come on, I'm too tough for cold. Snow takes one look at me and melts in terror."

"I can attest to that!" calls the little snowman at the far end of the park, and you wave at it from your perch on Papyrus' hip.

Undyne just grins. "See?" Whirling, her hands on her hips, she looks at you in much the same way that the Dogs look at a stick, and you cling a little more tightly to Papyrus. "Now, seems to me the problem is you're not _in_ the experiment enough. What is it that Toriel's always yammering on about during staff meetings?"

"PROMPT MARKING?"

"No."

"NOT SLIMING THE CHILDREN?"

"NO! Come ON, Papyrus!"

" **yeah, bro, throw her a bone**."

"EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING?" Papyrus offers, glaring at Sans.

"Yeah, that thing!" Undyne crows. "You gotta EXPERIENCE the experiment, punk! Here, check this out."

She reaches forward and plucks you out of Papyrus' arms. Before anyone has a chance to realize what she's planning, she's already hauled her arm back. You can feel her muscles coiling like steel beneath you, and in another instant, you're airborne, hurtling toward the clouds. Over the fading shouts of the skeletons beneath you, you can just make out Undyne's words.

"WHAT? KIDS BOUNCE, RIGHT?"

 _Fundamental rule of gravity. What goes up, must come down._ The thought is reassuring as you hurtle onward toward the sky. You draw a deep breath as you begin to slow, arcing gently over the park. It's so quiet up here, and the air is crisp and cold. Spreading your arms, you take a moment to look down at the trees below you, and the houses curling around the lane. From up here, you can just make out the big house on the hill in the distance. It's funny - that house may be where you live most of the time, but it never feels weird to stay with Sans and Papyrus, or Dad, or even Alphys and Undyne. You don't have a bedroom at Alphys and Undyne's though - any time you stay over, they declare it a slumber party and you camp out in the living room in sleeping bags, so there was never much of a point.

You have a big house on the hill, and it's home. But you have a bunch of little homes too, and each one has its own thing that makes it special. From here, you can see them all.

It fills you with determination.

For one brief, glorious moment, you hang in the air, neither rising nor falling. Weightless. Your laugh rings out, bouncing off the clouds above you. Then, you're moving down again, falling faster and faster as you barrel toward the trees. As you near the tops of the branches, you tuck your knees against your chest, and you can make out the voices below you again.

"-AAAAH! CURSED TREES! WHERE IS-"

" **-left, bro. left!** "

"-way you guys are carrying on you'd think they were made out of GLASS or something-"

The air around you erupts in a spray of snow and ice, and it glitters like diamonds in the sun. Slowly, the shimmering falls, and as the air clears, you find yourself caught between two pairs of bony arms. A great, long skid leads across the park toward the snowdrift that half-buries you. After a long, frozen moment, the skeletons begin to pull themselves free, shaking off the ice, and you find yourself the focus of two surprisingly intense gazes for a pair of brothers who don't have eyes. Unable to help yourself, you laugh and clap your hands. "Let's do it again!"

With twin sighs of relief, Sans and Papyrus sag toward each other, trapping you snugly between them.

" **i don't think so, kiddo. that's enough science for one day. how 'bout a nice nap instead?** "

"FOR ONCE, I AGREE WITH SANS."

"Yo, Frisk!" Artie bounds over the drifts toward you, trailing Undyne in their wake. "That was AMAZING!" Dancing in place, they look entreatingly up at Undyne. "Can I try?"

"Sure, runt, why not?" Undyne grabs Artie's head, lifting them off the ground.

"Sweet!" Artie raises a robotic hand to punch the release button on their chest straps. With a soft whir, the arms go limp and fall to the ground. "Fire away, Teach!"

"PERHAPS YOU OUGHT TO RECONSIDER," Papyrus interjects uneasily. "WHILE THROWING CHILDREN IS UNQUESTIONABLY AMUSING, THE AMOUNT OF AMUSEMENT WE WILL HAVE IF THE QUEEN FINDS OUT IS, I SUSPECT, NOT VERY MUCH. AT ALL. CONSIDERING THAT WE WILL BE DEAD."

"Or on fire," Artie points out helpfully. "Remember when those angry humans came to the school waving signs and she set them on fire? That was so awesome!"

You glance up as a shadow falls over you, and a huge smile crosses your face. "Hi, Mom!"

Papyrus lets out a little screech, and there's some amount of jostling as the skeletons both try to make sure that you're between them and Toriel. She's giving her Headmistress Look, but there's no fire. Yet. Both of her hands are holding tightly to the handle of the large picnic basket she's carrying.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asks sweetly.

"Yo, Mrs. Dreemurr! We're doing science!" Artie calls.

Toriel raises a brow. "So I see."

Without a word, Undyne slowly puts Artie back down in the snow and lets go of their head.

Your mother continues as though she hadn't noticed. "Artemisia, I have been meaning to speak with you about your Science homework lately. Have you been getting help from a grown-up?"

Artie looks down, scuffing the snow with a toe. "Yes, ma'am. From Alphys."

"Oh, good!" Beaming, Toriel pats Artie on the head. "You have been working so hard on sharing and cooperating, I was concerned that you weren't paying enough attention to asking for help. Well done."

You grin even harder as Artie's face brightens with pride. One of the things the humans whose kids are at the school still don't quite get is the importance that monsters place on asking for help and supporting each other when you get into trouble, so it's a pretty big part of the report card.

Shifting the basket to one hand, Toriel picks up Artie's arms, shaking the snow off before holding them out. "Now I think you had best run along home. It is nearly time for dinner."

Artie backs into their arms and locks them into place before turning to wave at you. "Later, Frisk. Good homeworking today, dude!"

From your little nest of skeleton arms, you wave back. Toriel watches until she's satisfied that Artie is safely on their way home, and then turns back to you and your science assistants.

"Undyne?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"Go home."

"Yes ma'am!" As meek as she ever gets - which is still not very - Undyne gives you a friendly punch in the arm and flashes you a grin full of sharp teeth. "Later, punk! Training bright and early tomorrow! We're going to practice throwing rocks!"

You groan, but Toriel isn't done yet. As Undyne leaps the fence around the park and runs down the street, Toriel gives the three of you The Look, and the brothers inch even further behind you. "Now then. Shall we get my child out of the snow?"

You know it's serious. There aren't even any puns as Sans and Papyrus mutter apologies and free themselves from the snowbank. With a skeleton holding either hand, you follow Toriel back to the house in silence until you can't take it any more. You let your steps slow until the brothers are practically dragging you, waiting until they turn their heads to see what's wrong. As soon as they do, you rush forward, and you've done this so many times that they don't even need to think about what comes next. You let out a squeak, trying to hold in your laughter as your feet leave the ground, and your scarf slips down as you swing between the brothers until it can't hide your smile any more. By that time, Mom is smiling too, and she shakes her head with a sigh. But the scary mood stays broken, and your trip back home is measured in swings and laughter.

"NOT THAT IT ISN'T A DELIGHT TO SEE YOU, YOUR QUEENLINESS," Papyrus says as they struggle together to free you from your winter clothing. "BUT WE WEREN'T EXPECTING YOU HERE SO SOON. HAS YOUR TRIP BEEN CANCELLED?"

"Sadly, no - oh,look, there is my little popsicle!" Toriel bumps her nose against yours as she gets the last loop of your scarf off. "But we had a little time before the car arrives, and I thought that a pie would be nice for you to have with dinner tonight."

Now that the scarf isn't covering your nose, the smells of apples and cinnamon curl around you like a warm, fuzzy blanket. You wiggle happily as Sans tugs your coat over your head, not bothering to undo the zipper.

"OH." Papyrus picks up the basket and peers dubiously inside. "UM. THIS IS A VERY THOUGHTFUL SWEET QUICHE WITH NO EGGS, YOUR MAJESTY."

" **hey. hey tori. what did the apple say to the orange?** "

"I find you very a-peel-ing!"

Sans and Toriel break into gales of laughter so strong they can barely manage getting you out of your boots. With a strangled sound, Papyrus rises to his feet and storms toward the kitchen. "YOU REALLY, REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE."

Wiping a tear from her eye, Toriel reins in her laughter and kneels in front of you, resting her hands against your shoulders. "Just between us," she whispers, "I also wanted to hug you again before I go."

The reminder stings a little, and the smile slips from your face. Frowning, Toriel cups your cheek in her hand, her fur soft against your chilled skin. "Oh, my child, no need for that. I will be back before you know it."

Your breath leaves you in a rush as memory slams into you, unbidden. Warm brown eyes framed by dark hair. A familiar, distantly beloved face smiling at you. A gentle touch against your hair. " _Oh, Katie, don't cry. We'll be back before you know it."_

"Frisk? My child, what-?"

You throw yourself at your mother, wrapping your arms around her neck and clinging for dear life. Her arms are around you at once, wreathing you in the scent of cinnamon and spices, her warmth sinking deep through your sweater to fight the chill that settled into your heart. You feel her move, and look up to see her exchange an understanding look with Sans. Sighing, she pulls you into her lap and strokes your hair as she rocks you.

"Frisk, did I not promise you that I will care for you for as long as you have need of me? I will be back, sweet child. Have no fear. You will have a lovely time with these nice boys for a few days, and then I will be back."

"Dad too?" you murmur quietly against her shoulder.

"Yes. Asgore as well." She nuzzles your hair gently. "Would you like to stay with him for a while when we return?"

You nod, your hands clinging fast to her pretty purple blouse. You don't want to let go.

Behind you comes Papyrus' best attempt at a whisper. "SANS, WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO FRISK? AND HOW DO WE FIX IT?"

" **shhh. just let tori do the mom thing for a minute.** "

"BUT I WANT TO HELP TOO! ISN'T AN AWESOME COOL FRIEND ENOUGH TO CHEER UP A TINY HUMAN?"

" **you're the coolest, bro, but tori's already got some mom-entum.** "

There's a pause, followed by a strangled squeak as Papyrus swallows his retort, and you can't help yourself. Even though you're upset, a giggle works it's way free, and Toriel's soft laughter just encourages yours. The laughter chases away your fear, and after one last, long hug for good measure, you let go and take a step back.

"There, now. That is better." Toriel rises to her feet, brushing the creases from her skirt. "No more tears, my child, or you shall make me cry, too."

" **don't worry, tori. we'll take good care of the kid."**

"I know you will. And Frisk?" Toriel winks at you. "I am trusting you to keep these two out of trouble. Can you do that for me?"

You nod, wrapping one of your arms around Papyrus's knee. The weight of his hand settles on your head, and you're almost reassured. Almost. You reach out with the other hand, wiggling your fingers until Sans takes hold of it. Toriel gives you a proud smile.

"Be good, my child. I will see you soon."

She sends the first text not two minutes after the door closes behind her. As Papyrus heads to the kitchen to start wrestling your dinner into submission, you plonk yourself down on the floor to read your phone. Sans plops down behind you a moment later, and you lean back against him as you read, his arms around your waist and his chin in his favourite spot on top of your head.

To the familiar sounds of Papyrus yelling challenges at the tomatoes, you scroll through the incoming texts. Sans snickers quietly as he reads over your shoulder, and you breathe a long, comforted sigh.

* * *

Dear Frisk,

Hello! I hope you are staying out of trouble. The car that is to take us to the airplane is very large. They say I should not use my phone when we are on the airplane, but I will send you a picture when we land.

Be good!

Love,

Mom ] : )

* * *

PS. I put some clean underwear in the picnic basket under the pie. Just in case. You can never have enough clean underwear. In case of accidents.

Love,

Mom ] : )

* * *

PPS. Do not have accidents. Stay in one piece.

Love,

Mom ] : )

* * *

PPPS. Asgore is here too. He says to say hello.

HELLO!

Asgore, do not use all capitals. Alphys says that means you are shouting. It is very rude. Unless you are Papyrus; that is just his way.

OH. SORRY! HOW'S THIS?

Asgore, no.

HOW DO YOU TURN THIS OFSNGTHSGFSN

Dear Frisk,

Here is a picture of a small dog.

Love,

Mom ] : )

 _[attached is a photo of an extreme close up of a wet brown nose]_

* * *

"HEY!" Papyrus calls from the kitchen. "THIS EGGLESS QUICHE COMES WITH SUPERHERO PANTS! THAT ALMOST MAKES UP FOR THE LACK OF EGG!"

" **oh, would you lookit that, you change colour. red's a good look for you, kiddo.** "

Giving a quiet, dismayed squeak, you bury your burning face against Sans' shoulder. He laughs, but there's no malice in it, and he reaches back to snag a blanket from the couch and wrap it around you both. Safely cocooned in the blanket and in Sans' hug, you let yourself get lost in the soft, sweet comfort of the feeling of _home._


	2. Chapter 2: Birthday Party

_Still working on the next real installment, but this is a silly little extension of a tumblr post inspired by dawntreaderflynne, who showed me a picture of the cake in question with the comment: "Also i know this is supposed to be edgy and scary but now that everything is Undertale, all i'm thinking is Skelebro Birthday Party." And... this happened. Thanks, Flynne!_

 _(also note: this is one that really suffers from the ff net liimtations. The version on A03 has pictures)_

* * *

YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED

TO FRISK'S **SUPER-COOL**

AMAZINGLY AWESOME

TENTH BIRTHDAY PARTY!

JAPES WILL BE MADE!

PUZZLES WILL BE PLAYED!

ENJOYMENT WILL BE HAD!

(REALLY, THE AMOUNT OF CAPERING WILL BE VERY GREAT)

FEATURING AN INCREDIBLE CAKE

LOVINGLY HAND-CRAFTED

BY

 **THE GREAT PAPYRUS!**

PLEASE RSVP TO coolskeleton95

* * *

Sans and Papyrus really do go all out on the birthday party preparation. Well, Papyrus does. Sans' sole contribution to the event is putting on a clean shirt. This one has a picture of a small goat on it, with the caption "check out my goat tee" underneath. Toriel snorted tea up her nose the first time he showed up at your house wearing it.

Everything seems to be going well, even with the jittery human children, until Papyrus unveils his masterpiece. Though you and the monster kids are jumping up and down, clapping your hands and shrieking with glee at the sight of the birthday cake filled with grinning skulls, the reaction from the other children isn't quite the same kind of shrieking.

As you tuck into your slice, you can hear the exchange between your brothers on the other side of the room.

"SANS! SANS, WHY AREN'T THE HUMANS EATING THE BIRTHDAY CAKE? WHY IS THAT ONE UNDER THE TABLE IN THE CORNER? HUMAN! HUMAN COME AND SEE THE— WHY ARE THEY RUNNING?"

" **i dunno, bro. guess they can't *rise* to the occasion."**

"WHY DON'T THEY LIKE IT? COME ON, IT'S REALLY COOL! LOOK AT ALL THOSE HAPPY, GRINNING SKULLS I PAINTED! THEY ARE AMUSING AND WHIMSICAL!"

" **'course it's cool. these kids are really treading on thin icing.** "

"WHA– SANS, STOP THAT! THIS IS NO TIME FOR JAPING, THIS IS SERIOUS! THAT'S FRENCH PASTRY THEY'RE SPURNING!"

" **how will they ever gateau-ver it?** "

"AAAAHHH!"

By this point, you're laughing so hard that you inhale half your mouthful of cake, but even as you double over from coughing, it's still delicious.

" **whoa, hold up, papyrus. the kid's trying to breathe cake**."

"WHAT? THAT IS VERY INEFFICIENT!"

Two pairs of hands thump you on the back until your giggles are unhindered by baked goods once more. You still can't stop laughing, though, especially since Sans insists on poking you in the ribs despite your incredibly ineffective attempts to grab his hands.

" **there you go, kiddo. with all those lungs you got in there-** "

"SANS, NO-"

" **-breathing oughtta be-** "

"SANS, I AM WARNING YOU-"

" **-a cake-walk.** "

"...I HATE EVERYTHING!"

* * *

Later, once everyone has gone home and the decorations have come down, you find Papyrus in the kitchen. He's wrapping uneaten pieces of cake without nearly the enthusiasm that he usually has when he's in the kitchen. Standing on your toes, you reach up to tug on his scarf. When he looks at you, his eyes are suspiciously damp.

"FRISK? WHAT ARE YOU-?"

You hold out the drawing you've been working on since the other kids left. He takes it from you and looks at it, and his eyes get even more suspiciously damp. He sets the drawing carefully on the kitchen counter before he turns back to you and scoops you into his arms. Giggling, you cling to him and rest your head on his shoulder. "Thank you for my party."

"I AM- I- YOU'RE WELCOME."

" **hey, no one told me there were group hugs happening.** " There's a screech of wood on tile as Sans drags a kitchen chair over, and a moment later, his squishy warmth thumps into place against your back and his arms wrap around you both.

"SANS, WE NEED TO BUY ANOTHER FRIDGE. THE HUMAN HAS MADE ANOTHER DRAWING AND WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF SPACE ON THE FIRST ONE."

" **sure thing, bro. we'll get right on that**."

"After hugs," you correct him.

He gives a quiet snort of laughter. " **right, kid. priorities**."

You sigh happily, nuzzling your head beneath Papyrus' chin. "Best. Birthday. Ever."

"WELL, OF COURSE IT WAS! WITH THE GREAT PAPYRUS ON THE JOB, DID YOU DOUBT IT COULD BE ANYTHING BUT?"

Smiling, you shake your head. No, you hadn't doubted. Not for a single second.


	3. Chapter 3: Nickname

Nostalgia wraps around you as you move through the vines, ducking beneath leaves so large they block out the sunlight streaming through the greenhouse glass overhead. The smell of damp earth is thick around you, but it's not a bad thing. It smells of green, and life, and growing things.

"Hmm…Let's see what's ripe today." the deep rumbly voice drifts toward you across the vegetable garden, and you duck even further beneath your concealing umbrella of leaves, pressing a hand against your mouth to keep from giggling.

This garden is different from the cozy gardens in the greenhouse at home. Those are really just for your own family, and the friends who spend their time at the big house. This garden is much, much bigger, and it was one of the first ideas that you and Dad came up with together.

The monsters had been very surprised to learn that some humans didn't have enough to eat. Sure, there were monsters who sold food, and they weren't about to just give it away to anyone, but generally, if you were really hungry, someone, somewhere, would make sure you had what you needed. It was as you were helping Asgore start the vegetable garden at the big house, talking over that very problem, that you hit upon the idea together - what if you took one of the big embassy gardens and turned it into an orchard, where anyone who was hungry could come and eat from the trees, or dig for potatoes, or pick the berries and peas and runner beans that grew on the vines running up the embassy walls?

It was the first idea that both human and monster diplomats unanimously endorsed. Every class at the school spends time learning how to tend the plants in the garden now, though Asgore remains their overseer. Other people tried, but the plants just grow best when they're under his care. Mom says it's because he never stops talking to them, but she sounds almost proud when she says it these days.

The greenhouse is really just for winter, when the snow claims the gardens outside. Almost as if they know that everyone is depending on them to get them through those long, cold months, the plants in the greenhouse garden grow to enormous proportions.

It's the perfect place for hiding.

"Let's see…. these tomatoes are coming along nicely, but they need a few more days, I think." The rumbly voice moves a little closer, and you edge along the vines, sticking beneath the canopy of leaves over your head. "The cucumbers are almost there. Almost. But oh! What do we have here?"

You hold your breath, waiting to hear what he's found. An instant later, great white hands burst through the leaves over your head, and you let out a squeal as they seize you around the waist and toss you into the air.

You're flying, and falling, and breathless with laughter as those strong hands catch you, and you find yourself staring into a familiar bearded face.

"Goodness, me!" Asgore tosses you again, and your laughter doubles. "What an unusual little pumpkin! I have never seen one so giggly before!"

You told Undyne these overalls were too orange! The green shirt she picked out to go under them probably doesn't help, either. But Asgore doesn't seem to mind at all as he holds you over his head, peering intently at you. "I wonder if this pumpkin is good enough to eat?" he continues.

"Noooo!" you protest through your giggles, but it's too late, and your hands bat futilely at his horns as he nuzzles his head against you until you can barely breathe from the tickling. Finally, in a last ditch effort to save yourself, you wrap your arms around his muzzle and cling tightly.

He gives a startled "mmmph!" and lets go of you, and you're dangling in the air above the squash patch. His nose isn't that big, and you quickly slip free, but you don't fall far before he catches you, hugging you close to his broad chest. He's laughing now, too, and you can hear the pounding of his heart as you rest your head against him. The shirt he's wearing today is patterned with happy fish, and you wonder idly if Undyne has been helping him with the clothes shopping, too.

"Howdy, Pumpkin," he says fondly, and you smile up at him. It had just been a silly joke, but the word fills his mouth like a name, and you find that it makes you feel warm and comfy when he uses it that way. You don't think you'd like it from anyone else, but from him? It fits. Your smile widens as he bumps his nose against yours. "Ready to help with the harvest?"

You nod, and he places you on his shoulders before moving off toward the apple trees. Clinging to his horns for balance with one hand, you reach up until your fingers brush against the fruit, and you carefully twist one free and pass it down to him.

It would be easier and probably faster just to climb the tree yourself, but the two of you always start this way. It's just so much more fun to work like this - together.


	4. Chapter 4: Training

The wind whips the snow around you into a haze of glittering ice. For one precious, frozen moment, the sounds of battle fall away around you, and everything grows utterly, perfectly still.

The moment is shattered by the shrilling of your cellphone, and it's a ringtone that you know you can ignore only at your peril. The ice shifts, and you throw yourself to the side, tucking into a roll as a blue spear streaks through the mist to embed itself deep into the snow where you were standing. You bounce to your feet and grab the spear, pulling the phone out with your other hand. Raising the spear just in time to deflect a laser beam that burns through the snow toward you, you quickly plug your headphones into the phone and accept the call.

"Hi Mom! How's the summit?"

"Hello, Frisk, dear. It goes as well as could be expected, I suppose."

The weary frustration in Toriel's voice is evident even through the cellular connection, and you grin as you race across the hilltop to avoid another volley of spears. "You haven't set anyone on fire yet, have you?"

She laughs, some of her weariness easing. "No. You will be very proud of me, my child. I have been remarkably restrained."

"You're the best at being patient, Mom."

Toriel laughs. "I am not, but that is sweet of you to say nonetheless."

"I believe in you anyway, Mom. Stay determined." Jabbing your spear of choice into the snow in front of you, you grab the last projectile out of the air, spinning with it to throw it back into the mists, and you're rewarded by a particularly colourful curse in response.

"I will, my little one, though- gracious, what are you up to?"

Impaling a small robot drone on your spear before it can finish burrowing through the snow beneath your feet, you fling it back down the hill. "Training. We're playing Monarch of the Mountain. Undyne and Alphys are trying to usurp me."

"Really? Are you ruling that mountain with an iron fist?"

You sigh, with an affectionate roll of your eyes. "Yes, Mom."

"Good child. I am proud of you. I shall let you continue with your regime, then. Do not let your kingdom fall."

"I won't. Love you, Mom. Don't set anyone on fire."

"I love you too, my child. I shall try not to, but I make no promises. Remember to eat your vegetables and don'tstayuptoolatewatchingmovies!"

You end the call just as two shapes stir through the mists at the base of the mountain. Grinning in triumph, you raise your spear in striking command. " _Release the hounds!"_ you bellow.

Nothing happens.

Groaning, you tuck your spear beneath your arm and scoop a handful of snow, quickly packing it into a ball. "Sans!" You whip the snowball down the hill. Sans jumps as it spatters against his head, and lowers the magazine he's reading. "Release the hounds!" you say again, trying to ignore the snickering coming from the mist. You frown and use your spear to knock away the other one that lances toward you.

" **oh, right, right. sorry, kid.** " With a wink that tells you he's probably not very sorry at all, he waves a hand, and the gate of bones in front of the cave at the base of your mountain sinks into the snow.

A chorus of eerie howls weaves into the mist, and a tide of growling, snarling shapes pours forth toward the usurpers. At least, it starts to. Greater Dog immediately bounds off to chase an errant spear, and Lesser Dog gets so excited to see you that it stretches its head so far up the hill that it collapses under the weight of its own neck and lies there, body at the base of the mountain and head nearly at the top, wagging its tail in unbounded joy as it licks as much of your foot as it can reach. Over Doggo's complaints of not being able to see anything because of the snow, the Dogi are too busy nuzzling each other and making lovey noises to pay much attention to you.

Endogeny bounds up the hill to froth happily on you, and you sigh as you raise a hand to ward off the slime. Using the spear to placate it with scritches behind one of its feelers, you peer through its shadowy form toward the base of the hill. "Okay, so I think I need to work on this iron fist thing." You blink as a little white dog trots past, his tail a blur as it carries a bony, sneaker-clad leg in its mouth.

" **tough luck, buddy.** " Sans gives you a lazy wave from where he's flopped, one-legged, in a snowdrift. Lesser Dog's tail is whipping up a fall of snow that's slowly covering the rest of him. " **guess you're on your own**."

You narrow your eyes and tighten the scarf around your neck. He's right. It's up to you to take down your rival monarch and win the day. Taking your spear in both hands, you glance down quickly to make sure both boots are tied properly. Satisfied, you tug your woolly hat firmly down on your head, and throw yourself down the hill with a bellow of challenge.

"Ha! That 'NGGGAAAHHH!' was almost intimidating!" comes an answering voice from the mist. You swerve to avoid the subsequent volley of spears, ducking and rolling out of their way as they thunk into the snow. If Undyne is in that direction, than that means…

You dart to your left, grabbing another handful of snow as you race between the trees. As the drone you anticipated buzzes out of the bushes toward you, you hurl the snow at its camera, and in wobbles blindly through the air until it crashes into a nearby trunk. With a whoop of triumph, you leap over the bush in front of you, and have a moment to take in the look of startled shock on Alphys' upturned face below you before you're on top of her, driving her into the snow.

Rolling through the collision, you bounce back to your feet, still running. You glance back to see Alphys' legs kicking at the air just before you lose sight of her. An instant later, you hear the expected cry of surprise from Undyne as she stumbles across Alphys, followed by a frustrated grunt as she hauls her girlfriend free of the snow.

Perfect. That's all the time you need. Pushing yourself even harder, you break free of the trees at the foot of your rival's mountain.

But he is not unprepared. Before your boots even touch the hill, bones erupt from the snow, streaking toward you in a blur of blue and white. Gasping, you leap over the first wave, tumbling and weaving through the macabre forest that the bones have formed around you, freezing when need be as the blue fire flares to life along them.

They keep coming, fast and relentless, but your feet never stop. Over, under, around, through, driving ever forward, ever upward, even as the bones chase you around the snowy mountain. Further and further you climb, and they're coming stronger now, lacing together in words of challenge and boasting that taunt you as the sweat streams down your face and stings your eyes.

You can see him now, shadowed at the peak of the hill. Like a thousand angry hornets, the bones sing as they whiz through the air around you, and it's all you can do to stay one step ahead of them. You're close, so close, but the snow bursts into a glittering spray as a white fence breaches the icy gap between you.

You can't lose. Not now. With a cry of defiance, you plant the spear in the ground, and the vault swings you up, and up, and up toward the sky…

And you're clear. You land on the other side, skidding across the snow, and he has nothing left. You sprint the remaining steps between you, one, two, and launch yourself toward the peak of the hill, hands outstretched as you fly.

Then his mittened hands pluck you from the air, and the momentum of your leap spins you around, and around, and you're both laughing as Papyrus lifts you over his head in triumph.

"WOWIE! FRISK, YOU DID IT! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH YOU ONCE THIS TIME! THAT'S A NEW RECORD!" You drop, but only far enough for Papyrus to wrap his arms around your waist and hug you close. Still giggling, you throw your arms around his neck and bury your face against the warmth of his scarf as you struggle to catch your breath.

"Hey, Punk!" You raise your head at Undyne's shout to see that she's grinning as she trudges up the hill, holding Sans by the foot and dragging him behind her. He's still reading his magazine, seemingly unperturbed by the trench he's leaving in the snow. "That was some seriously fancy footwork there! I think I'm actually PROUD of you!"

Papyrus sniffs as he rests your weight on one hip. "CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, UNDYNE? OUR LITTLE HUMAN, ALL GROWN UP AND CONQUERING RIVAL MONARCHS!"

"HA! Not quite grown up. You know what this means? We have to up the challenge!" She lets out a roar of laughter, tearing off her fluffy parka to better display the intimidating flex of her biceps beneath her tank top. "WE SHALL BUILD A TRAINING COURSE THE LIKES OF WHICH THIS WORLD HAS NEVER SEEN! WITH GUARDS! AND TRAPS!"

"AND PUZZLES?!"

"THE PUZZLIEST OF PUZZLES!" Undyne drops Sans into the snow and turns to bellow down the hill. "ALPHYS!"

The little scientist had almost made it to the top of the hill, but despite the protection of her panda earmuffs, the yell startles her so much that she almost drops Sans' leg. She recovers though, resuming her slow climb, panting as she fights against the dog still valiantly tugging on Sans's foot in resistance. "Y-yes, Undyne?"

"CLEAR YOUR CALENDAR, BABYCAKES! WE ARE GOING TO PLAN THE ULTIMATE CAMPAIGN THIS WEEKEND!"

"Oooh!" Alphys brightens, adjusting her glasses. "Can we order Chinese?"

"Sure, Babe, whatever you want. Gotta fuel that big brain of yours somehow." Undyne reaches down to pluck Alphys out of the snow. Sans' leg and the dog come with her, and Undyne gives an irritated sigh. Grabbing Sans' leg out of Alphys's hand, she shakes the dog off and tosses the leg back to Sans. "Here. You might need this."

Sans grunts as his own foot kicks him in the stomach, and glances down at the interruption. " **oh, hey. i was wondering where that went. thanks**." He folds the magazine and slips it into his jacket before sitting up and attempting to jam his leg back into place.

You rest your head against Papyrus' shoulder, watching fondly as Undyne tucks Alphys beneath her arm and bounds down the hill to begin planning the next phase of your training, both of them exclaiming animatedly over ideas until their voices fade into the distance.

" **tired, kiddo?** "

You glance down at Sans from your perch on Papyrus and nod.

"AS WELL YOU SHOULD BE. IT TAKES THE GREATEST AMOUNT OF ENERGY TO FACE THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND WIN." You just hug him more tightly, and he gives you an affectionate 'Nyeh," bouncing you to settle you more comfortably on his hip. "COME, TINY HUMAN. WE SHALL CELEBRATE YOUR VICTORY WITH THE VERY FINEST OF OUR FINE PASTA, AND THEN SANS SHALL READ US TO SLEEP WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER OF THAT BOOK ABOUT THE BROTHERS WHO SOLVE THE MYSTERIES."

" **so, hey, papyrus…** "

Papyrus turns to glare at his brother. "NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT, YOU LAZYBONES. YOU CAN WALK YOURSELF."

" **about that…** "

"SANS."

" **...you might say that…** "

"I MEAN IT THIS TIME!"

" **...i don't have a leg to stand on**." Sans gestures with his disarticulated leg. Its sneakered foot waves gaily at Papyrus.

You can feel Papyrus quivering with irritation and indecision, and await the inevitable. Sure enough, a moment later, he gives a strangled cry and reaches down to snag Sans and stuff him under his other arm.

"FINE. BUT YOU ARE READING *TWO* CHAPTERS!"

" **sure, bro, whatever you say**."

"UNDER THE BLANKETS."

" **right on**."

"AND WE'RE MAKING A PILLOW FORT. WITH FLASHLIGHTS AND HOT CHOCOLATE AND A REALLY COOL SECRET PASSWORD. AND GET UNDYNE'S JACKET OUT OF THE SNOW, WILL YOU? WE NEVER DID GET THE STAINS OUT OF THE LAST ONE."

Sans stretches out his leg, flailing it around until its wobbling foot is in the right position to snag the hood of Undyne's discarded parka. Thus satisfied, Papyrus starts down the hill toward the skeletons' cozy little house, you and Sans both dripping snow in his wake. Before long, Papyrus is singing a happy little song about snow and dogs and spaghetti, and you hum along under your breath.

" **you did good today, kiddo.** "

You peer over Papyrus' shoulder until you can see Sans as he dangles under Papyrus' arm. He's holding Undyne's parka close to his chest with one hand, and the other droops down, trailing his leg so that the foot leaves a line behind next to Papyrus' footprints.

"Thanks," you answer, wincing a little as Papyrus tries for a high note. "I'm just worried about what happens when Papyrus stops going easy on me."

" **oh, he never goes easy on you.** " As you stare over Papyrus's shoulder at him, he just grins at you. " **he takes your training real serious. don't get me wrong, my bro's got wicked control, but that just means he'll stop just shy of actually hurting you. right up 'till then, he's going all out.** " Sans flips his leg around so that he can use his foot to scratch behind his head. " **you earned your bragging rights today, kid.** "

You stare up at Papyrus, wide-eyed, as his voice screeches to a crescendo on the chorus. "Wow," you breathe.

" **i know, right?** " Sans agrees. " **my brother is so cool.** "

* * *

Later that night, tucked into the pillow fort, you lie awake and stare at the blanket above you as you think about what Sans said. You turn your head toward Papyrus on your left, watching him in the soft glow of the nightlight around which you built the fort. He fell asleep first, as he always does, and Sans dropped off not long after, mid-paragraph - he's currently pressed against your other side, leaving you snug between the two surprisingly soft skeletons. Papyrus certainly doesn't seem very threatening, especially not now, in his fuzzy flannel pyjamas with the happy little robots all over them. But as you think back over the events of the day, you start to realize that Sans was right. This time, the first time you made it through Papyrus' challenge without being hit once, is the first time you haven't come away purple with bruises. He always stops before you get really hurt, always, but that doesn't mean he goes easy on you, either.

He really does believe in you that much.

The forgotten book slips off Sans' lap, and Papyrus stirs in his sleep, turning to wrap his arms around you and Sans. You're well and truly smushed now, but you don't mind. It's snuggly and warm between your brothers, and Papyrus is actually sleeping for a change. If you can help him stay happy and rested after a day like today, it's the least you can do.

"You really are a super-cool brother," you whisper.

" **darn right he is,** " a sleepy voice murmurs behind you.

You let out a quiet whuff of air as Sans flops more comfortably atop you and Papyrus and goes back to snoring, though you can't help noticing the slight blue flush that steals over him when you turn to give him a goodnight kiss on the top of his head.

"Coolest brothers," you amend.

The snoring breaks in a quiet snort of laughter, and Sans' arm wraps around you in a hug. " **yeah, we've trained you real good,** " he whispers. " **now do me a favour, kiddo. hit the light and go to sleep.** "

You yawn, and free one hand to grab Sans' leg from the other side of Papyrus, stretching it out until the tip of its sneaker is poised above the switch on the nightlight. Carefully, you hit the switch, and as darkness settles over the fort, you lower your head against soft flannel and let yourself drift off, too.


	5. Chapter 5: Sky

"This… this insult is INEXCUSABLE. PREPARE TO FIGHT TO THE DEATH!"

Artie glances up as Undyne's bellow echoes across the yard. "Yo, what are they even fighting about again?" They add a few more leaves to the rather impressive pile you've collected. The pile is above both of your heads now, but it was a good excuse to test the new extensor function on Artie's arms, and so far they've been able to keep adding leaves to the top of the pile despite the fact that it tops both of you by a good three feet.

"Something about a challenge," Alphys mumbles, watching Artie's arms carefully as they drop another handful on the top of the pile. Frowning, she grabs Artie's left elbow, ignoring their long-suffering, "dude!" as she uses a tiny screwdriver to make a small adjustment to the elbow joint. "There. That should be even now."

Artie tests out the reach before retracting both arms and giving Alphys a thumbs-up. "Thanks, Doc! Soo…. when do we get to add tasers to these babies?"

Alphys scowls. "No."

Undeterred - this is an old argument - Artie just clasps their hands beneath their chin. It makes a faint 'clank' that only slightly ruins the mood. "But Alphyyyyys. That cool dude in that anime we watched at the lab yesterday when we were supposed to be working-" Alphys begins to make a shushing motion, as Artie ploughs on, undeterred, "-he had wicked tasers in _his_ metal arm. But…" Artie digs their foot into the ground, and looks up at Alphys. "If you think that kind of tech is just too cool for a monster, I guess I understand."

"W-well… erm, I suppose if we did modify the voltage emitters in such a way that… no, no…" Alphys taps a thoughtful claw against her chin. "But maybe if we used some of the foundational principles of Frisk's science project to convert your magical energy to-"

" **bet tori's glad she left you with responsible adults, eh, kid?** "

Alphys leaps with a little screech, clearly having forgotten who'd been at the bottom of the leaf pile when you started building it. Not that you blame her. Sans is a master of lying still without moving for a really long time, and he'd long since been lost to the foliage. "S-sans! You-you wouldn't t-tell the queen, w-would you?"

" **i dunno,** " the voice from the bottom of the leaf pile muses. " **it was pretty… shocking.** "

You grin and straighten Alphys' scarf. "He won't tell. He just wanted an excuse to make a bad joke."

" **hey, i object. all my jokes are electrifying.** "

As Alphys sags in quiet relief, you bounce on your toes and glance at the leaf pile. "Hey, Sans. Flatskeletonsayswhat?"

" **...what?** "

You spread your arms, ignoring Artie's howl of protest as you let yourself topple into the pile. Leaves explode around you in a shower of reds, and oranges, and golds, blinding you with colour as you fall through them. Then, there's a sharp " **oof!** " as you land on something soft and squishy, and a pair of arms wraps around you and pins you to that softness. The leaves fall away, and as your vision clears, you're nose-to-not-nose with a familiar face sporting an even more familiar grin. But you can't quite tell if the grin is happy or annoyed this time.

"Hi," you say.

" **welp. you've gone and done it. you're stuck now.** "

You blink at him, tilting your head in confusion. "Stuck?"

" **yup. you were my last hope for getting dug out of this pile. now we're gonna have to stay here forever. hope you like spiders, kiddo. i hear they're big fans of leaf piles.** "

"Noooo!" you howl, struggling to free yourself, but for such a lazy guy, Sans sure knows how to hold on tight when he wants to. It's not that you particularly mind either spiders or leaves, but you've been part of his family long enough to know what's coming next, and with your arms pinned to your sides like they are, there's no defense against it. Sure enough, you feel a brush against your ribs as he finds the weaknesses he learned to exploit a long time ago, and a second later, the tickling begins in earnest. You fight valiantly, but Sans is a merciless tickler, and it isn't long before he has you laughing so hard you can barely breathe. In a last-ditch attempt to save yourself, you roll hard, but he just comes with you, scattering the leaf pile as you go.

"Aw, man!" Artie's voice filters through the leaves above you. "Now we have to build it all again."

But as hard as you're fighting against it, it's just part of the game. Sans always stops exactly when you need him to, and after laughing that much, you always feel so much more relaxed and happy as you slump breathlessly on top of him. For his part, you think he just really likes to hear you laughing. His smile never changes, but it always seems brighter when you laugh, and you enjoy knowing when his grin is really, truly for real. Besides, tickling is easy for a slacker like Sans; all he has to do is move his fingertips.

"What are you two laughing about?!" You jump, Sans' arms tightening reflexively as Undyne's shout pierces your leafy covering. You can feel the thud reverberating through the ground (and through Sans) as Undyne stomps her foot. "That traitor thinks he can just get away with this betrayal! This is no laughing matter!"

"Undyne, what exactly did Papyrus do?" Alphys asks. You stir beneath the leaves, listening for the answer.

"He's getting TALLER than me, Alphys! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE?"

"Uhhhh…." says Alphys.

" **a pretty good idea, actually,** " Sans adds from under you.

"NGAAAAH! YOU ARE NO HELP. Fine, I'll just have to stretch myself until I'm the tallest again. ALPHYS! If I tie weights to my feet and do a ton of pull-ups, that'll make me taller, right?"

Alphys clears her throat nervously. "I'm not really sure that…"

A distant "NYEH HEH HEH!" drifts across the yard toward you, and a feeling of foreboding chases down your spine. You sit up in a shower of leaves, dragging Sans with you, as every face in your little gathering turns toward the skeletons' house. Papyrus is on the roof, arms akimbo, his cape blowing in the breeze.

"BEHOLD, UNDYNE! SEE HOW TALL I AM *NOW!* ADMIT IT, THIS IS ONE CHALLENGE IN WHICH I AM *HEAD AND SHOULDERS* ABOVE YOU! THAT IS A CLEVER JEST, YOU SEE, AS I STAND LITERALLY TALLER THAN YOU AS WELL AS BEING THE VICTOR IN THE FIGURATIVE SENSE OF THE EXPRESSION!"

" **aww, he almost made a joke. i'm so moved.** " Sans wipes a tear of pride from his eye.

"WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT! NGAAAAAAHHHHH!" Undyne raises her foot, and the subsequent stamp leaves a small crater as she launches herself into the air.

Your eyes widen, and you hold out a hand. "Wait! Undyne, stop!"

"ngggaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" The cry grows louder as Undyne plummets out of the sky, barreling into the roof next to Papyrus and passing straight through. A small spray of splinters and shingles rains down around the hole as she vanishes from sight.

Papyrus leans over the hole, peering down in dismay. "UNDYNE, IF YOU WANTED TO JUMP ON THE HUMAN'S BED, YOU ONLY NEEDED TO ASK. FRISK IS VERY ACCOMMODATING."

"My room," you whisper, exchanging a look with Sans, Alphys, and Artie. An instant later, you're running up the hill to the house as fast as you can go. Well, three of you are. You're pretty sure Sans took a shortcut, but you rarely see him go when he does.

Shortly afterward, you're standing in the doorway to your room, staring in dismay at the mess of wood and shingle on your pretty blue bedspread with the happy skulls on it. A massive hole gapes in the ceiling overhead, and the leaves stirring in the wind around the house fall like slow rain through the gap.

"WELL," Papyrus says, standing next to Undyne as she brushes plaster from her arms. "THIS IS A SATISFYING AND FORTUITOUSLY EQUITABLE TURN OF EVENTS."

"You broke my heart. I broke your house." Undyne flashes him a toothy grin. "Sounds fair to me!"

Your bedroom… it's ruined. As you stare at the mess, your lower lip begins to tremble.

Sans catches sight of you from where he's slouched against your doorframe and straightens quickly. Faster than you usually ever see him move, he reaches out to yank on his brother's cape. " **uh-oh, papyrus, heads up. code blue.** "

Papyrus whirls in alarm as the tears begin to well in your eyes. "WHA- NO! FRISK, THIS IS CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION, NOT TEARS! CAN YOU NOT SEE THE POETRY IN THIS ARRANGEMENT?"

You sniffle as your nose begins to run. Tears fill your eyes until everything blurs.

"Yeah, punk, don't be sad!" Undyne slings an arm around Papyrus' shoulders. "Papyrus and I are totally cool again, and I got to make this awesome hole. Everybody wins!"

Everybody except your bedroom. It was a really nice bedroom, too. After everything that happened to you before you fell and just after, you were really happy to have it. It meant that even when you couldn't be in your room at the Big House, you still had a place that was _home_. And now it had leaves and sticks and an angry squirrel in it.

The tears slip down your face, hot against skin chilled by the autumn air that swirls through the hole.

With a cry of alarm, Papyrus swoops down upon you, scooping you into his arms and cradling you against his shoulder. "SANS!" Papyrus bounces you, attempting to jostle the tears away, but he only makes them come faster. "DO SOMETHING HELPFUL!"

Sans grabs your parasol from where it's leaning in the corner and pops it open before placing it on your bed beneath the hole.

You turn your face into Papyrus' shoulder and begin to sob in earnest.

"THAT WAS THE OPPOSITE OF HELPFUL!" Papyrus roars.

" **i don't have a _hole_ lot of ideas here, bro,** " Sans answers.

" _Hooooole_ ," you wail, and Papyrus hugs you tighter, bouncing you so earnestly that your teeth rattle.

"OH MY GOD, SANS! THIS IS NOT THE TIME!" In desperation, he tries to soothe you by stroking your hair. It's something he picked up a while ago, though you're not sure if he got the idea from Toriel or the dog. It might have worked, but the squirrel gets scared by your crying and runs from the room, knocking the family photo off your nightstand in the process. The crash of breaking glass just sets you off harder.

"ALPHYS!" Undyne steps over a fallen beam to grab the little scientist off the ground, holding her at eye-level. "You're smart. DO SOMETHING!"

"Uhhhh…." Alphys lifts a claw, drawing a breath, but then lets it out in a rush. "I'm stumped."

"Whoa!" comes a surprised exclamation from the doorway. You blink the tears from your eyes, turning to look. You'd almost forgotten about Artie in the commotion, but they appear to have stopped off at the kitchen to make a sandwich during the race up to your room. They take a bite of the sandwich now, chewing thoughtfully as they stare up at the gaping hole in the ceiling. "Dude. Awesome skylight." They turn to Undyne with a hopeful look. "Yo, Teach! Think you can make me one?"

"S-skylight?" You hiccup, glancing up at the hole.

Alphys claps her hands with a squeal of glee. "Yes! It's the perfect size. I've got some experimental thermoglass left over from the last greenhouse redesign, too. I can talk to some of the old crew from the Core. It'll be done in no time!"

Undyne laughs, planting a kiss on Alphys that has the saurian scientist turning bright red. "I knew you'd think of something, Babycakes!"

Sniffing, you lean your head against Papyrus' shoulder as you contemplate the gap. A skylight? You never thought about it before, but maybe… maybe it could work. As your tears finally subside, Papyrus gives a sigh of relief, still petting you gently. You're pretty sure it's comforting him as much as it is you.

"THERE, YOU SEE? AS LONG AS YOU'RE WITH THE GREAT PAPYRUS, EVERYTHING WILL TURN OUT RIGHT. I WILL EVEN LET YOU SLEEP IN MY BED UNTIL IT IS DONE."

"But you love your race car bed," you protest, looking up at him.

"NYEH." He bumps his forehead lightly against yours. "LET IT STAND AS A SHINING BEACON TO THE TESTAMENT OF MY AFFECTIONS."

You're not entirely sure what that means, but not even you have enough determination to prevail in the face of Papyrus' overwhelming love and friendship, and you smile.

A skylight…

Distantly, you remember echoes of a whispered conversation. Remember looking overhead to see only crystals glittering in the darkness. Suddenly, a skylight doesn't seem so bad…

* * *

The nightmare is an old one, familiar enough that you don't cry when it rips you out of sleep. You just bolt upright, hugging your knees to your chest as you wait for your heart to stop pounding. Glancing down, you run a finger over the happy skulls on your bedspread, letting their smiles remind you that it was just a dream.

It's not quite enough. You raise your trembling hand to tug down the collar of your wild west pyjamas. Glancing down, you run a hand over your chest. Still intact. No spear. Not even a hole. With a shaky sigh, you whisper the last words that echo from your dream.

"Somebody help…"

After a moment of silence, a voice answers from the dark. " **whaddya need, kiddo?** "

"Friend-shaped hugs?" you ask.

A soft snort answers you, and Sans steps into the pool of starlight surrounding your bed. Pausing, he reaches out to straighten the photo on your bedside table. It just kind of reappeared there this morning, but you have your suspicions that he's the one who fixed it. Sans kind of has a knack for photos. " **i think i can manage that. scoot on over, bud.** "

He climbs up next to you and puts his arms around you. It's not often he's out of his jacket, it takes effort to put on and take off, but he's changed into his favourite pyjamas - soft flannel bottoms with hot dogs all over them, and a top with a small dog in sunglasses beneath the words "bad to the bone." He's still wearing the grey hoodie he usually sports underneath his lighter, hoodless jacket, and it's soft beneath your fingers as you cling to it, drawing comfort and security from the hug. Hugs are one of the few things Sans almost never slacks off on, and the strength of it reminds you where you are, helping you shake off the last cobwebs of the nightmare.

"I had a bad dream," you murmur against his shoulder.

" **i know,** " he says, and pats your back. " **but you're here now. and me. and papyrus if you wanna wake him up.** "

"He's actually asleep?" you ask. "Not just napping?"

" **nope. turns out two days of heavy construction wear a guy out.** "

Despite the adrenaline still coursing through you, you smile. "Better let him sleep, then."

" **good plan. us short guys gotta watch out for the tall guy, right?** " Sans lets go of you and sits back on your comforter, his hands in his pockets. " **hey, frisk. flathumansayshuh?** "

"Huh?" you ask, rubbing sleep from your eyes.

With his hands still deep in his pockets, Sans spreads his arms, his hoodie flapping open like the wings of a bat. Before you can do more than let out a squeak of surprise, he flops on top of you, flattening you beneath him. Giggles burst from you as his fingers find the ticklish places on your ribs. By the time the tussle ends, you're both sprawled on your backs, staring at the skylight above you, and the pounding of your heart is from laughter instead of fear. You're warm beneath the comforter, but though Sans is lying on top of it next to you, he doesn't seem to be bothered by the lack of a blanket of his own. Thinking about it, the house _is_ usually pretty cozy, and Alphys did great work on the skylight. It's just that nightmares always leave you feeling cold.

A lot less cold after the tickle fight, though.

" **phew,** " Sans sighs. " **i'm gonna need a nap after all this excitement. you're really making me earn my keep tonight, buckaroo.** "

You snug deeper beneath the covers, and wriggle over until your head is on his shoulder. He gives a quiet laugh and pulls the comforter more snugly beneath your chin before putting his arm around you, giving in to your silent demand. He rests his other arm behind his head, tilting his face up to the stars.

"It's a nice night," you say.

" **sure is. wonder how those stars get so twinkly.** " He rests his head against yours, following your gaze. " **is that the big dipper?** "

Giggling, you shake your head. There's a soft "pffth" from Sans as he blows your hair out of his mouth. "No, that's Cassiopeia. She's a queen."

" **oh. are those her horns?** "

"No, she's not like Mom. It's a 'w' 'cause she's sitting on a throne."

" **ah, okay, I see it now.** " He points up at another one. " **what's the big square?** "

"Pegasus. It's a flying horse." You sneak one hand out from under the blankets to point. "They're telling a story. Cassiopeia's daughter Andromeda got chained to a rock so that monster there - his name is Cepheus, and he's not nice like real monsters - he was going to eat her. But Perseus - that's him, there - he rode Pegasus to the rescue and saved Andromeda."

" **huh. what happened to the monster?** "

"I think Perseus killed it," you say, sadly. "None of those old stories ever seem to care much about the monster."

Sans turns his head to look at you. " **you woulda done it differently, huh?** "

"I would have seen if Cepheus wanted spaghetti instead of princess," you answer. "Maybe he was just cranky 'cause he hadn't had anything warm and yummy to eat. I'm sure if someone just made him a nice lunch and talked to him a while, he wouldn't have been so murdery."

" **heh. right. just do me a favour, kid. if you ever decide to go meet a princess-eating monster in a murdery mood for lunch, give me a heads-up first, okay?** "

"Okay. I'm sure I'll be fine though. It worked with Undyne."

Grinning, Sans reaches out to boop your nose. " **and that's why i less-than-three you the best of all humans.** "

"I heart you, too." You yawn, blinking up at the glittering sky. "If the stars moved a bit more, we could see Capricorn. That's the goat. But I always thought it looked more like a heart."

Sans shifts the arm that's around you so that he can pet your hair, and each stroke makes your eyes heavier. After all the time he's spent calming you down after nightmares, he's learned all the tricks for getting you back to sleep again. Even though he usually ends up cheating in the end. Yawning again, you burrow more firmly into your squashy skeleton pillow, and he snickers. " **comfy there, buddy?** " You nod, and he tucks your hand back under the blankets. " **how'd you get to know so much about stars, anyway?** "

For a minute, you don't say anything. You just watch the quiet twinkling of the stars, catching your breath as a lonely meteor streaks across the sky. "Dad," you say at last. "Human Dad. He taught this stuff. We used to go out all the time. Kinda like this, only out in a big field with a tent. Mom hated it. Not the star stuff, but she said if humankind was meant to sleep in a field, we wouldn't have invented bathrooms. So usually, it was just me and Dad."

Your blinks are getting heavier, but you're a little surprised to find that they're not accompanied by the sting of tears this time. Your heart still aches when you talk about life before you fell, but it's getting easier to remember the happy times without having the memories hurt.

" **hey, frisk?** "

"mmm?"

" **you think you could teach me sometime?** "

Despite how heavy your eyes have gotten, you open them again at the question. Sans is watching you, and it strikes you, in that moment on the edge of sleep, just how well you've come to know how very many expressions there can be on a face that never changes. He's not joking, or teasing. Not this time.

With a smile, you bury your face against him and let your eyes drift closed again. "Sure. Good thing I got a skylight."

He gives a soft snort of laughter. " **you said it. g'night, nerd**."

"G'night, bigger nerd."

" **eh. i'll give you that one.** "

He can't kiss you. Skeletons just aren't made that way, and not even magic can make up for that much. But somehow, the touch on the top of your head conveys the same feeling, and a contented sigh escapes you as you begin to slip away again. There's a gentle brush of magic, like a cool breeze washing through you. A soft tide that speeds you toward slumber. It's cheating, but you don't really mind. Your last thought before you submerge completely is to wonder what your human Dad would have thought of Sans.

You're pretty sure that once they got started talking sci fi with your human Mom, they'd never stop. That thought puts a smile on your face, and it colours your dreams and makes them sweet.

* * *

Your gift to Sans on the next Annual Winter Celebration of Putting Presents Under A Tree is a telescope. A new one, with lenses powerful enough to see much farther than the distance from a sparkling cave roof to the ground below. Alphys helped you pick it out, and Mom helped you buy it, since most of your Ambassador's salary is in savings until you're eighteen. The eyepiece rigged to leave a pink ring around the viewer's eye is your own touch, though.

Nobody else really understands why Sans seems like he's fighting back tears as he calls you a nerd, even while he's hugging you so hard that your feet leave the ground, but that doesn't matter. He's beaming so brightly he puts the stars to shame, and it's the best gift you get that year.

* * *

 _Quick note: if you haven't seen Hamster's amazing art of chapter 1, go check it out on A03!_


	6. Chapter 6: Movie Night

"Cinq... quatre... trois...deux...un!" You throw up your hands as the microwave beeps. "Et voilà! De maïs soufflé!" You punch the door release button, and duck away from the cloud of steam that billows out toward you.

" **you know it's fancy 'cause it's french.** " Sans ruffles your hair before reaching past you for the hot popcorn.

One advantage of having a brother without skin is that he never has to worry much about touching hot stuff in the microwave. He snags the steaming bag and tears it open, dumping the popcorn into the big bowl you have waiting, and you smile broadly at him. If you hadn't gotten the bowl out, he'd just have taken the bag out to the living room, but that just gets the blanket all greasy, and he's learning how much you hate that. "Merci!" you tell him.

" **heh,** " he says, and floofs your hair again, only getting a little bit of popcorn butter in it. " **you're getting pretty good at that, kiddo. must be the smarty specs.** "

Giggling, you pull off the plastic frames you're wearing and fold them neatly next to your workbook. They don't actually do anything - there's no lenses in them - but you've always found it easier to study with some kind of glasses on. This latest set of frames is courtesy of Alphys' last dump run, but your family is always on the lookout for them. The rules of studying are simple - specs on means you can only look at your books. Specs off is time for other things.

Like movie night.

Intercepting Sans' hand before he can empty the bottle of ketchup he's holding into the popcorn, you replace the bottle with a little shaker of ketchup flavour instead. One soggy bowl of tomatoey popcorn was enough to last a lifetime. "You really think I'm getting better? I mean, I know it's important for an Ambassador to learn as many languages as they can, but after Sign and Japanese and Tem, I'm worried I'm running out of space in my brain."

" **nah, your brain's plenty big. but that's enough conjugating verbs for tonight.** " He takes the bowl in one hand, and hoists you onto his back with the other. " **you're too tense.** "

Clinging to him like a lemur, you giggle at the joke. "Hey, did you hear why my French tutor made me give back all my apostrophes?"

Sans pauses in the kitchen doorway to glance over his shoulder at you. Even Papyrus, on the couch in the room beyond, pauses in his examination of the remote to look up at your question, clearly affronted on your behalf. " **no,** " Sans says slowly. " **why?** "

"They made me too possessive!"

Sans dissolves into laughter. A moment later, Papyrus gives a disgusted moan and facepalms, inadvertently hitting himself in the face with the remote. "REALLY, BROTHER, YOU ARE A TERRIBLE INFLUENCE."

" **come on, papyrus, kid's gotta learn about their skeleton heritage sometime.** " Hefting you more securely into place, heads toward the couch. " **you can patella they're gonna be a little humerus just by looking at their bone structure.** "

"THAT IS NONSENSE AND YOU KNOW IT." Papyrus folds his arms. "IF ANYTHING, THEY SHALL BE GREAT AND TALL, LIKE ME!"

" **come to think of it, you are getting a little heavy, kid**." Groaning, Sans drops to his knees two feet away from the couch. " **yeah, i'm about done here. this is good enough, right?** " He pitches forward, only just getting the popcorn bowl out in front of him as he faceplants onto the floor in front of the couch. You bounce against his hood, and it startles a giggle out of you. " **oh, hey, there's pretzels under here,** " Sans mumbles into the carpet as he stares under the couch.

Sighing, Papyrus leans down and grabs the back of your overalls, hoisting you onto the couch next to him. He flicks out a blanket, tucking it over your lap before retrieving the popcorn and handing it to you. "SANS, YOU CANNOT STAY DOWN THERE. YOU KNOW HOW I DESPISE IT WHEN IT'S THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE AND YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION!"

From where you're sitting, you see Sans' hand wave over the edge of the couch before dropping out of sight again. " **naw, i'm good down here, bro. i can see.** "

"HONESTLY, BROTHER, I DON'T KNOW WHY I TOLERATE YOUR SHENANIGANS." Papyrus leans over you and hauls Sans up onto the couch.

" **because you love me,** " Sans answers.

"WELL, YES, OBVIOUSLY. BUT STILL."

Snugged between the two skeletons, you grab the blanket and stretch it out until it covers both of them as well. The action seems to mollify Papyrus somewhat; Sans puts his arm around you with a quiet, " **heh. thanks, pal,** " and steals some of the popcorn.

" **so what's on deck for tonight, pap?** " Sans asks.

"I AM GLAD YOU ASKED," Papyrus exclaims, gesturing at the TV with evident glee. "THE LISTINGS DESCRIBE THIS MOVIE AS A JOURNEY OF FRIENDS IN WHICH THEY ENCOUNTER A MYSTERIOUS GHOST." He hugs the remote happily. "SO IT IS SURE TO BE A LIGHTHEARTED ROMP, POSSIBLY INVOLVING MUSIC AND/OR DANCE!"

Sans evades your attempts to block him and dumps more ketchup flavour onto the popcorn before you can wrestle the jar away from him. Sticking your tongue out at him, you put it in your pocket, but Sans just winks at you and takes another handful. " **sounds good, bro. hit us up.** "

Something about the video's description nags at you, but between Papyrus bouncing in his seat on one side and Sans trying to steal all the popcorn on the other, the thought quickly slips from your mind. Instead, you settle for cramming popcorn into your mouth as fast as you can before Papyrus spills it or Sans eats it all.

"AH, LOOK, HOW WONDERFUL!" Papyrus wraps an arm around you, too, snugging you even more securely between the brothers. "THIS GROUP OF FAST FRIENDS IS TRAVELLING TO A CABIN IN THE WOODS FOR THE WEEKEND. WITH SUCH GOOD CHUMS IN SUCH A COZY SETTING, THIS IS SURE TO BE A HEARTWARMING TALE OF CAMARADERIE! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM SURELY THE CHAMPION OF CHOOSING MOVIES FOR MOVIE NIGHT."

* * *

About an hour later, all of you are having serious doubts about Papyrus' choice. You're not sure if the brothers are clinging to you, or if you're clinging to them, but the three of you have moved into a huddled knot in the middle of the couch with the blanket pulled up as high as it goes. The popcorn bowl is on Papyrus' head for added protection, since you got really upset when you noticed how far his head sticks up above the safety of the back of the couch.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND," Papyrus protests over the sound of the woman on the TV screaming. "WHY IS THAT GHOST SO ANGRY? WHAT DID THE HUMANS EVER DO TO IT?"

Sans glances down with a startled squak you crawl inside his hoodie. Patting you through the fleece, he glances at Papyrus. " **hey, bro, maybe we should change it to something else?** "

"PERHAPS YOU ARE - AH, NO! I SEE NOW! OH, THIS MOVIE HAD US GOING, BUT LOOK, HERE COMES A FRIENDLY SKELETON TO CARE FOR THE HUMANS. DO NOT BE AFRAID, HUMANS! RUN TO THE SKELETON! FLY INTO HIS ARMS AND HE WILL - WAIT… WHAT IS…? NO! THAT IS NOT A HAPPY WAY TO USE YOUR ARMS, SKELETON! AUGH, *WHY IS HE DOING THAT?*" Papyrus' arms wrap tightly around you and Sans, though you're not entirely sure if it's in protest or demonstration. Possibly both. "BROTHER, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT SKELETON?"

" **okay, that's it!** " Sans grabs the remote and hits the power button. As the TV falls silent, the sound of screaming is replaced by the ragged sound of your breathing. Sans rests a hand on your head. " **i mean, that movie was terrible. what was up with those fx? you could practically see the strings on that puppet.** "

"I-" Papyrus begins, but Sans jerks his head and Papyrus looks down at you. "OHHH! I MEAN, YES, WELL… TRULY THAT WAS LAUGHABLE. EVERYONE KNOWS THAT A TIBIA DOESN'T ARTICULATE LIKE THAT. PERHAPS THAT WAS THE INTENT. REALLY, THAT MOVIE WAS A COMEDIC MASTERPIECE."

"It was funny?" You poke your head out of Sans' hoodie to look up at your brothers.

" **hilarious** ," Sans assures you.

"Right," you say, and give a shaky laugh. "I wasn't scared at all!"

" **that's the spirit, kiddo**." Sans and Papyrus join you in laughter, but it fades fairly quickly as the silence of the house presses in on you.

"I… SUPPOSE WE SHOULD PUT THE HUMAN TO BED," Papyrus ventures, and looks at you and Sans.

Nobody moves. Suddenly, the rest of the house seems a lot darker than it was an hour ago.

" **yyyeah,** " Sans says. " **you know what? i'm good here.** "

"Me too," you say, hunkering more securely inside Sans' hoodie. "I'm not scared. I'm just comfy."

"AS AM I." Papyrus hugs the two of you more tightly. "LET US DEMONSTRATE HOW COMFORTABLE AND NOT SCARED WE ARE BY SLEEPING HERE TONIGHT IN DEFIANCE OF ORDINARY BEDTIME CONVENTION! NYEH!"

* * *

When Undyne bursts through the door the next morning with her customary bellow of "TIME TO GET UP, NERDS!", she isn't quite prepared for the amount of screaming and flying debris that rises up to greet her. When she manages to struggle to her feet after the barrage, she slowly lifts the popcorn bowl from where it has slipped over her good eye. Scowling, she tugs a bone out of her ponytail and flings it over her shoulder, before turning her glare on the three of you huddled together on the couch.

"Right," she says slowly. "Which... one of you... THREW THE TV AT ME?"

" **welp.** " Sans slides off the couch, and you slip out of his hoodie and land on the carpet with a thump. " **i'm goin' to grillby's. here, catch.** " You let out a squeak as he scoops you up and tosses you toward Undyne. She lets out a screech, the popcorn bowl hitting the wall with a resonant clang as she chucks in away so that she can grab you out of the air. When you look back at the couch, Sans is already gone.

Shrugging, you reach up and wrap your arms around Undyne in as fierce a hug as you can manage. The more you hug like you're trying to strangle her, the happier it makes her. "Morning!"

Undyne sighs, but relents and hugs you back, driving the air out of you. As you flop bonelessly against her, she stomps into the house and spares Papyrus one glance before she grabs him on her way toward the stairs. "Come on. We can't show up at the gym with you two smelling like popcorn and ketchup. What the heck happened to you, anyway?"

"Movie night," you say. "It was screamingly funny."

"NYEH-HEH! YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN." Papyrus winks at you over Undyne's shoulder.

"STOP AUDIBLY WINKING! I CAN HEAR THAT!." Undyne dumps you both on the bathroom floor. "This is the last time you watch movies without me. Next time, Alphys and I get to come to movie night. And we're bringing the punk's parents!"

You and Papyrus exchange a look and clasp each other's hands. Beaming, you look up at Undyne and chorus your response together. "DEAL!"


	7. Chapter 7: Troll Bridge

"-and so, you see, I don't think I'm any more antisocial _per se_ than other monsters, it's just that after spending my whole life underground, I'm finding all that _sky_ overhead is giving me the most awful anxiety." The monster in front of you clasps his hands, entreating you to understand. You nod, and he takes that as encouragement. "I mean, there's nothing _there_. What if gravity reverses and I just keep tumbling up and up and-" He breaks off, shuddering, and retreats more deeply into the shadows. With a sigh, he looks up at the metal girders overhead. "I suppose it's in my blood…"

You reach into your shoulder bag and pull out your thermos. "Would you like some more tea?"

"Oh…" A scaled foot eases out of the shadows. "Yes, that would be rather lovely, thank you." There's a rattling in the dark, and a clawed hand bigger than you are emerges, clutching a hubcap daintily between two fingers.

You pour a good half of your thermos into the hubcap before pouring a little tea into the lid of your thermos for yourself. You can't really address the gravity thing - it's not likely that everything is suddenly going to start falling up, but given what you know of monsters and magic, it's not outside the realm of possibility, either. "It's okay that you're scared, Philip," you say, and take a sip of your tea. "It's a big step. But maybe instead of hiding under here all the time, try putting yourself on a leash. You can tie it to the ground when you go out, so even if you do fall up, you won't go very far."

The troll under the bridge freezes for a moment, then leans forward, close enough to the light filtering through the trusses that you can actually make out his enormous green eye (currently wide with concern) and the dozens of long, knife-sharp white teeth gleaming along the edge of his mouth. He peers up at the underside of the bridge, leaning out nearly far enough to see the sky before pulling back again, breathing hard. "Well, that _is_ a novel idea, but really, it's quite cozy under here, and-"

A rumbling interrupts him, and you wrap your arms around the beam next to you as the girder you're sitting on begins to shake. Clinging tightly, you brace yourself for the blast of air that threatens to knock you off entirely as the subway roars past overhead. A moment later, the shaking subsides, and you loosen your grip on the beam as Philip creeps back out from the depths of the darkness beneath the bridge.

"You made this place really pretty," you say, gesturing at the bright paintings beneath the bridge that manage to shine even in the darkness. "But it's not really much of a home. Don't you get tired of that noise?" Digging into your bag again, you pull out a cookie and hold it out to him.

He takes it gingerly between the tips of two claws, and nibbles thoughtfully. "Yeeeess…"

"And if you came out, you could eat at that Caribbean place you like," you add.

He sighs. "They do make the most wonderful goat curry." But his dreamy look fades, and he shakes his head. "Oh, no, Ambassador, I couldn't possibly. I am much too large, and that building is much too close to the sky."

"But if you have a tether," you insist, "even if gravity does go funny, you can just pull yourself back down." You pull out your phone and thumb through your pictures until you find what you're looking for. "Here. I got this idea today. These construction guys are working on a big building near the embassy, and there's no walls or floor yet, but they use these straps here and these clippy things to make sure they don't fall down. You could use 'em to make sure you don't fall up." You zoom in on the harness one of them is wearing, and turn the screen toward him. "See? I tried to get some better pictures, but then they started yelling that I wasn't supposed to be up there, and I had to go home."

Philip leans forward to peer at the tiny screen, and this close, you can see your reflection in his gleaming teeth, which are the size of your entire head. You blink at your reflection, and look down at your clothes. Sans and Papyrus helped you get dressed today, which means you're wearing everything that was at the top of the laundry basket. In this case, it's an orange shirt with little white dogs all over it, a green hiking vest, purple pants, and a little yellow skirt overtop. Giving a satisfied nod, you smile. You like it when you get to be colourful.

Philip sighs, a torrent of air that smells like old pigeon and chocolate chip cookies, and you grab the beam again for support. "I appreciate what you are trying to do," he says at last. "But what could I possibly have to offer the world out there?" He drops the rest of the cookie into his mouth and retreats back into the gloom. You can hear a mechanical scrape, followed by a ticking, and then an old merry-go-round crammed in the maintenance walkway beneath the subway tracks begins to turn. "It's all right, Ambassador. Leave me to my tinkering. You have more important monsters to worry about."

"Philip," you say, reaching for him, but his hand is too far away from your girder. "You _are_ important!"

Before he can answer, your phone rings, and you can feel the blood drain from your face. You must look even worse than you feel, for Philip uncurls himself a little from his hunch, turning back toward you. "...Ambassador?"

You squeeze your eyes tightly closed. "I forgot I was supposed to go to my brothers' house after school today."

"Ahhhhhh." His tail curls around his taloned feet as he wilts. "You are in trouble because of-"

You cut him off, sharply raising a finger in his direction. "If you start blaming yourself I swear I won't bring you any more cookies!" He looks horrified, and shakes his head mutely as you tug your phone out of your pocket. "And don't say anything about the bridge," you add, checking the display and feeling your heart sink. Papyrus, at least, you could have distracted. Taking a deep breath, you connect the call.

"Hi, Sans."

" **hey, kiddo.** H o w 's it hangin g?"

 _Ohhhhhh. Oh no. He knows._

Your heart now somewhere in the vicinity of your boots, you look down.

The beam you're sitting on isn't very wide, and as you look past the dinosaur-dotted rubber of your boots, you have a clear view of the very, very long way down to the ground below. The subway bridge spans the top of a deep valley, carved out by the river beneath over thousands of years. On one side of the river, a path meanders beneath the steel arches of the bridge, and the path has two blobs on it that weren't there before. Fairly certain already of what you're going to see, you activate the phone on your camera, point it at the blobs, and zoom in as far as it will go.

Papyrus has his hands on his head, staring up at you with his mouth agape and his eyes practically bugging out from his head. Sans just looks as he always does, one hand in his pocket and the other holding the phone as he, too, looks up at you.

"I'm so sorry," you say, quietly. "I got distracted."

" **yeah, so we noticed,** " Sans says, making you wince. There's an edge in his voice, and even though you know it's because they were worried about you, it makes your heart sink. It drops even lower as Undyne pounds up the path behind them, Alphys trailing at a distance. They were all out looking for you.

"Why didn't you call?" you ask.

"Oh," Philip says, perking right up. "I believe it has something to do with the substantive amounts of metal in the structure of the bridge. The signal wouldn't reach your phone unless it's…" He thinks about it, and shrugs. "...well, directly below you."

There's a sigh on the other end of the phone, and you can hear Papyrus and Undyne yelling something in the background. " **look, kid, whatever's going through that head of yours, we're not mad. just come down before one of us has a heart attack and we'll talk it over, okay?** "

You nod, not sure if he can even see you from that distance or not. "I'll be right there." As you zip the phone into your pocket, you give Philip an apologetic shrug. "I have to go."

"I understand," Philip says, and he does a very good job of hiding the sadness in his voice.

Digging through your bag, you pull out the bag of cookies and hold it out to him. "Here," you say. "You need these more than I do."

"Oh!" he exclaims in delight. "Why, thank you Ambassador!"

Smiling as he delicately picks through the cookies with his claws, you rise to your feet. "You're welcome," you say. "And you can call me Frisk."

"Oh, oh no," he says, though he's clearly distracted by the baked goods. "That wouldn't be proper at all."

Shaking your head, you look down and move yourself into position. The steel girders criss-cross the underside of the bridge quite closely, but you've done this often enough that it's easy to find the right way down. Making sure your bag is secure, you wave at Philip and step off the beam.

You think you hear a noise from below you, but you're very high up, and you need to concentrate on what you're doing. You skid down the curve of the next beam, and as you duck one to let it pass over your head, you reach out and grab it as you pass, using your momentum to fling yourself over to the next beam. Again and again you jump, and catch, and flip, until you finally run out of girders. This part's a lot tricker, but the vines that have grown up over the featureless concrete bridge supports over the years are more than enough for what you need. You swing once and let go, dropping rapidly away from the girders. This time, you're sure you hear a sound. The chorus of indeterminate yelling from your family is unmistakable. You stretch out your hands as you fall, reaching for the big vine that spans the two adjacent columns…and miss.

You're not worried. This happens all the time, and there are tons more vines for you to grab on the way down, but the screaming below you intensifies. Your breath leaves you in a rush as your soul tears free of your body, and seconds later, the red glow of your soul is consumed by blue fire. Your descent slows, leaving you dangling halfway between the bridge and the ground, supported by nothing but the tingling touch of very powerful magic.

Nearly upside-down, you twist, intending to protest, but the words leave you at the sight of your friends. Papyrus and Undyne are practically pulling each other over in their race to get beneath you first, and Alphys, still a few feet behind them, runs as fast as she can, but her expression is horrified and helpless.

Sans stands behind them, feet braced and hand outstretched, and there's real fear behind his unchanging grin. So you swallow your words as the angle of your descent changes sharply, and your reach for Papyrus as Sans drops you into his brother's arms.

"OHO!" Papyrus holds you up triumphantly. "HOW FORTUNATE THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAPPEN TO BE SO SKILLED AT CATCHING THINGS!"

" **yep. you're the coolest, bro.** "

You glance over Papyrus' shoulder. Sans' hands are back in his pockets as he rocks on his heels, and he winks at you when he sees you looking. He doesn't seem like he's mad, but you still feel bad enough that you cling to Papyrus, resting your head against his cape. Papyrus gives a soft, consoling sound, shifting you just enough that he can pat your back.

"Eh, the little punk was doing pretty good up until the whole falling part." Undyne reaches up to pull a twig from your hair, tossing it over her shoulder. "So now I know what to add to your training roster!"

"Undyne-" you groan.

"FUHUHUHU! We're gonna drop you off ALL THE THINGS! ALPHYS! BUILD THE THINGS!"

Alphys, who dropped to the ground, panting , the moment Papyrus caught you, looks up with a pained expression. "What, now? C-can't we, you know, um…maybe stay here a little first?"

Undyne's expression gentles, and she kneels next to the little scientist, resting a tender hand against her frill. "Alphys."

Her cheeks reddening a little, Alphys leans into the touch, shyly tapping her fingertips together. "It's just...it's such a _nice_ day, and we found Frisk, and we've done soooo much running already..."

Cupping Alphys' face in both hands, Undyne leans closer until their foreheads nearly touch. "Alphys…"

"Y-yes?" Alphys stammers, her face growing steadily redder.

"Babycakes…if you're tired…"

"Y-yeeees?"

"THEN WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO COME UP WITH A TRAINING PLAN FOR YOU, TOO!"

Alphys blinks, her face blank with shock. "Wait, what?"

Grinning fiercely, Undyne grabs Alphys and tosses her over a shoulder, her grin widening at the little squeak that startles out of Alphys. "Right. You two got things covered with the kid?"

Papyrus casts her an affronted look. "OF COURSE! THE DAY THAT THE GREAT PAPYRUS CANNOT CARE FOR HIS HUMAN IS THE-"

"Yeah, yeah, great. You guys take it from here." She hoists Alphys more securely in response to the scientist's feebly kicking feet..

"Uh, Undyne?" Alphys sighs. "Do you think we can maybe not train right now?"

"WHAT?" Undyne roars. "NO! IT IS TIME FOR YOUR EXTRA-SECRET PRIVATE TRAINING!" She tosses her hair and grins at Alphys. "You know, at home. Alone. Together."

"Oh…" Alphys says, and her eyes widen suddenly. "Ohhhhh! Ooh! Uh, yeah! Yeah, I feel r-really, uh… _motivated_ all of a sudden. Let's go t-train!"

Papyrus takes a step forward. "WAIT! THIS SOUNDS EXCITING! PERHAPS I SHOULD COME AS WELL!"

"NO!" Undyne and Alphys chorus together, stopping him in his tracks. As Alphys turns a spectacular shade of pink and curls her toes, Undyne plants her free hand on her hip. "You're too good, Papyrus. Alphys needs some very _special_ training. It won't interest you at all."

"Yeah, uh, Papyrus, I d-don't want to hold you back." Alphys adds helpfully.

"Uh huh. There's gonna be a lot of holding going on," Undyne says, making Alphys giggle.

"WELL," Papyrus says, looking dubiously at the girls. "IF YOU SAY SO…"

" **welp. you two crazy kids have fun** ," Sans says with a wave. " **c'mon, papyrus. let's get the kid home.** "

At last, you part ways with Undyne and Alphys, and as Papyrus carries you down the path, you catch Alphys' gaze and wave. Smiling, she returns the gesture, and soon Undyne has carried her far enough away that you can't make them out any more. You drop your weary head down against Papyrus' shoulder again, and let yourself bask in the warmth of him. Being held by Papyrus is like being wrapped in sunshine. You sigh softly against him, and he gives your back another comforting pat. Only once you've hugged it out does he set you down, and he takes your hand as you head for home.

It's a beautiful day. The bits of wild and wetland on either side of the river have been left to grow unchecked, and though the trees are bright with reds, and oranges, and golds, the sun gently warms you as it filters through the leaves. The tall grasses, glimmering golden in the light, ripple and whisper with the furtive movements of insects and animals disturbed by your passing. You've spent long, long hours hunting for glimpses of them with Toriel; there are so many more of them here then you ever found in the months you spent with your mother in the Ruins.

As you walk, you glance at Sans, and your hand twitches, uncertain of your reception. But even though he doesn't look like he's watching you, he moves closer and picks up your free hand, and walking with a brother on either side makes your heart a little lighter, even if it does make people stare as you pass by. Sans winks at one passing jogger, making the runner stare so hard he crashes into a sign. Papyrus lets go of you long enough to pick the man up and hand him a card to Undyne's gym, with the suggestion that a little training is all he needs and he'll be running without falling over in no time. You smile and wave at the man as Papyrus rejoins you, but for the rest of the walk home, your head is full of heavy thoughts.

At first, you don't think Papyrus notices anything. He's his usual cheerful self as you work with him to prepare dinner, and he shouts at the TV just as emphatically as he always does when you watch a movie afterward. But when you excuse yourself before the credits even finish, he turns around on the couch to watch you climb the stairs, his face drawn with concern.

"HUMAN, I CANNOT HELP BUT NOTICE THAT YOU ARE NOT QUITE YOURSELF TONIGHT. YOU FLUNG THE TEST SPAGHETTI AT THE WALL DURING YOUR COOKING LESSON WITH ONLY A SMALL FRACTION OF YOUR USUAL ENTHUSIASM, AND YOU BARELY SHOUTED AT ALL DURING THE MOVIE. IS SOMETHING WRONG?"

Smiling fondly, you shake your head. "No, I'm good. Just tired today, is all. I just want to go to bed."

He doesn't say anything, but he looks at Sans, and the smaller skeleton covers Payprus' hand with his own. Something tugs deep within you, and you turn and run up the rest of the stairs to your room.

You're not sure how much time passes after that. You're not crying, but you're hugging your stuffed skeleton with all your strength, and as much as you love Arial, sometimes she's just not the same as having the real thing. Which is probably why you left your door open, and why your heart lifts just a little when you look up and see Sans standing in the doorway.

" **hey, kid,** " he says, but he doesn't move until you shift over on your bed. Only then does he come in and sit beside you, propping himself up against your headrest. " **talk to me.** "

"I'm trying," you say, and it's the truth. You promised him years ago that you wouldn't keep stuff that's bugging you inside, and you have no intention of breaking that promise, but sometimes it's hard to find the words.

He taps a bony finger against your head. " **big thoughts all tangled up again?** " When you nod, he winces in sympathy, drawing one of his knees up so he can rest his arm against it as he looks down at you. " **okay, let's start with the basics. is this a frisk thing or an ambassador thing?** "

"...yes," you admit, and curl up around Arial.

" **oh, man.** " He sighs, rubbing his head. " **all right, let's start with work.** "

Frowning, you smooth out Arial's little dress as you think. She's got a lot of clothes now thanks to Mom and Papyrus, and sometimes Sans. The dress is one of your favourites, and it's often on Arial, regardless of whether it's a day when Arial is he or a day when she's she. You run your finger over the little heart embroidered on the front of the dress. "Do you think everybody stares at us because I'm the Ambassador, or because you're monsters and I'm… not?"

" **huh. honestly? probably a little bit of both, but i'm thinking there's more of the first and less of the second than there used to be. you're getting pretty famous, kiddo.** " He gently shifts one of the curls that's fallen across your eyes. " **i know it's annoying and all, but you usually just wave when people stare. i didn't think this stuff got to you so bad.** "

"It doesn't, usually," you say. "But I've been working _so_ hard this year to make things better between humans and monsters, and sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm getting _anywhere_. Like, Philip makes this _awesome_ stuff, you and Alphys would love it, and he's letting it all rust under this bridge because he's too scared of humans to come out." You sigh. "Well, that and falling into the sky, but I can't do anything about that one."

" **nah. altering the fundamental laws of the universe isn't something you learn 'till, like, high school, at least.** " He winks when you look up at him, and rests a hand against your head. " **look, pal, i know it seems like you're running in place and not getting anywhere-** "

"Like a treadmill?"

" **yeah. i mean, those things are even more pointless than regular running - reason number twelve why i won't go anywhere near that gym no matter how many times papyrus asks.** " You giggle, and he tousles your hair. " **but, kid, things *are* better than they used to be. even i can see that.** " Shifting, he laces both hands behind his head. " **and maybe they're just staring 'cause they've never seen anyone as cool as my bro before.** "

"I guess…" you say. There was a time, not long after you reached the surface, when people used to run away when they saw you coming with your family. Or yell. Or worse. Now they just look, or sometimes come and ask you for an autograph. Or a selfie. You had to turn your notifications off because they never stopped pinging, but the Embassy still monitors the social media stuff for you, and Artie says you're tagged in an awful lot of photos with random people. "That still doesn't help me convince Philip to come out, though."

" **is *that* why you were hanging out under that bridge instead of coming home like you were supposed to?** " Sans asks.

Oh. Right. You'd forgotten about that. Groaning, you bury your head under Arial. "I'm so, _so_ sorry," you say, your voice muffled by the toy.

Bony fingers pull Arial away from your face, and you squint into the sudden light from the bulb overhead until Sans leans over and blocks it. " **kid, you don't gotta apologize for doing your job.** " He settles Arial next to you again. " **just remember to call home first, okay? and maybe not throw yourself off any bridges.** "

"I was going to be fine," you mutter, crossing your arms. "There were more vines. I've done it tons of times before." His quiet groan tells you that's probably not what he wanted to hear, and your cheeks heat up as you curl around Arial again. "I got lots of practice running around on spider webs. I wasn't gonna fall."

Sans glances at you sharply. You don't tend to talk much about some of the not-nice things that happened Underground with anyone, not even him, but you can tell he knows exactly how you got so much practice on the webs.

" **look, buddy, i know that if there's one thing you're good at, it's getting yourself out of sticky situations,** " he waits for your inevitable "nnngh" before continuing with a wink. " **but tori wants you back in one piece, and i think all of us would be happier if you didn't scare us to death first. 'sides, you know most humans won't understand.** "

...oh. He's right. You never even thought of that. It's been a while since the people in suits kept coming around, asking questions, looking for a reason to take you away from your family. A flash of nightmare memory streaks across your mind like the afterimage of lighting, lights in the dark, blinding you, as hard hands drag you to the house at the top of the hill-

" **whoa! kiddo! take it easy. breathe, now. c'mon. nobody's taking you anywhere.** "

You hadn't even realized how desperately you were struggling to for air until Sans' words pierce the memory, and it shatters like a soap bubble in the safety and comfort of your room. You force your hands open from where they've locked onto his hoodie, and you nod, drawing a deep, shuddering breath.

" **that's it. there you go. okay, so here's my thought - what say we get undyne to call muffet so she can give you some lessons and tell us when she thinks you're good enough? that way you can keep doing your thing, we know you're safe, you get some kind of certificate thing we can show all the human-types, and your mom won't have to set anyone on fire.** "

"That… that sounds good, I guess." You peer up at him. "Why can't _you_ call Muffet?"

" **uhhh, yeah.** " He shrugs. " **cause undyne's in change of your training. aaaaand maybe 'cause the spider queen and i haven't exactly been on great terms since back in the day. turns out she sees hot dogs as competition. who knew? but i'll do it if i have to, okay? we're gonna make this happen.** "

His grin is so bright when he turns it on you, and yet, it hurts. He's willing to do something that makes him uncomfortable just to make sure you can't scare him again like you did today. His grin wavers as your eyes begin to sting, and he straightens in alarm. " **whoa, hold up, what's with the waterworks? we just fixed things, didn't we?** " There's an edge of panic in his voice. All these years later, and you've seen him stay calm through floods and fire, but he still gets antsy when you cry.

"I'm sorry," you whisper miserably. "I let you down. I try hard to be good, I really do, but today…"

A bony finger pokes you between your eyes. " **oooookaaay, i think i know where that brain o' yours is going, and i'mma put the brakes on you right there, kiddo.** " He gives a small shake of his head. " **we've been over this, frisk. nobody's gonna send you away just 'cause sometimes things go wrong.** " Your lip trembles, the tears threatening to spill in earnest, and he opens his arms. " **awww, kid, you know i can't take it when you do that. c'mere.** "

You don't need him to tell you twice. Half-blind, you clamber over Arial and fall into Sans. He gives a quiet " **ow** " as your head whacks into his sternum, but he picks you up and pulls you closer, and you cling to him for dear life. "I'm sorry," you whimper again.

" **shhh. it's okay, kid. it's okay.** " It's not the words that matter. Not really. It's the tone of his voice, rushing over you like waves over the shore. It's the warmth of his arms around you as you hide your face against him. It's the comfort in his touch as he pets your head, a gesture born years ago out of desperation that has become as familiar and as comforting as Papyrus' cooking or your mother's smile. You shudder, and his words keep coming, keeping you afloat. " **you scared me, sure, but that doesn't mean you let me down. it's okay. you're not going anywhere.** " The soft movement of his hand against your hair echoes his words, driving them home, making them real. " **there's gonna be bumps in the road, but that's okay. remember, i've lived most of my live with papyrus. if i bailed as soon as the going got tough, i never woulda made it past the year he got taller than me. seriously. he makes me *clean stuff,* frisk.** " That last part is said with such weary disgust that it surprises a tiny laugh out of you, and you raise your head at last, your cheeks lined with red where they've been pressed against the ties of his hoodie. He smooths the marks with his thumb, and rests his brow against yours. " **face it, shortpants, you're stuck with us.** "

You don't ask him to promise. He hates making promises. But you do blink the tears away as you stare into the shadowed hollows of his eyes. "For real?"

" **for real** ," he agrees, and boops your nose. " **now whaddya say we get papyrus in here and we'll do an extra-long bedtime story. sound good?** "

You nod eagerly, and Sans gives you one more big hug for good measure before he calls Papyrus upstairs. True to his words, and much to Papyrus' delight, Sans reads through three chapters of _Serpentine_ (which you're all enjoying, despite the fact that Papyrus can't understand why the main character is so upset at finding out she's secretly half monster) before you finally fall asleep, sandwiched comfortably between your brothers. Their warmth and their love keeps you safe, and you sleep soundly, untroubled by dreams.

* * *

When you wake again, the boys are gone, though someone's tucked Arial snugly in with you. You blink sleepily, trying to figure out why you're awake before your alarm, only to realize that you dozed off before you could set it. You look up at the door to find Sans leaning against the frame, grinning at you. " **hey, sleepyface. i was getting worried we'd have to send you to school in your pjs.** "

You glance down at the ones you grabbed out of the drawer last night. The shirt has a fluffy _T. rex_ on it with the words "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A CHICKEN?", and fuzzy pants covered in a pattern of bones and feathers. "What's wrong with my pjs?"

" **nothing, kid. but you're gonna want something a bit more rugged if you're gonna be climbing around under bridges after school.** "

You gasp and beam at him, and he nudges your shoulder as he climbs up next to you, eyeing your sticky-outy hair with amusement. " **yeah, yeah, we made the call. you got your lessons. now do you feel like the little braids or a cool mohawk today?** "

You hem and haw over the difficult decision long enough that Sans threatens to start in with the tickling, and the experimental prodding of your ribs has already begun by the time you manage to get your answer out through the giggles.

" **yo, papyrus!** " Sans calls.

"WHAT IS IT?" comes the aggrieved answer from downstairs. "I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF SOME VERY DELICATE CULINARY CALCULATIONS, HERE, SANS! THIS PASTA IS NOT GOING TO FIT ITSELF IN THE WAFFLE IRON!"

" **kid wants braids today, bro!** "

A clattering of pots echoes its way up the stairs, followed by the rapid thump of footsteps, and Papyrus bursts through your door. "NYEH HEH HEH! NEVER FEAR, TINY HUMAN! WE SHALL ENSURE THAT EVERY FOLLICLE IS- AAAH!" He pats your head in dismay. "IS IT SUPPOSED TO KEEP GROWING *OUT* LIKE THAT?"

"I told you it's getting curlier," you mutter to Sans.

" **it's fine,** " Sans says, already starting to section off the hair on one side of your head. " **it's just measuring how awesome the kid is. the poofier it is-** "

"-THE MORE IT ACTS AS AN INDICATOR OF FRISK'S GREATNESS! I SEE! THAT IS VERY CLEVER OF YOU, FRISK!"

You raise a brow at Sans, but he just winks at you as Papyrus parks himself on your other side. Oblivious to the exchange, Papyrus tugs off his gloves before starting in on his own braid. You have no idea why, but neither brother can ever manage to produce two even braids on his own. The only way they can get them to come out looking the same is to have both of them working at the same time.

It doesn't take long for them to finish; your hair's not that long, and the skull hair ties they finish the braids off with brush the tops of your shoulders. You've been busying yourself by playing with Papyrus' gloves, but before you have a chance to take them off and check the mirror, you feel something low and almost imperceptible prickle across your skin. You freeze, and make a grab for the brothers' hands as dread creeps slowly over you.

"HUMAN?" Papyrus looks down at you, his brows drawn with concern. "FRISK, WHAT-"

Before he can say anything more, a low rumble echoes through the room, and the bed beneath you begins to tremble. You see movement, a flash of blue, and everything goes dark as the world attempts to shake itself apart around you.

Too much time passes. Or not much time at all. Your eyes are squeezed shut against the darkness and warmth surrounding you, and something muffles the roaring, but slowly, it fades, and the shaking stops. You open your eyes as the pressure around you eases, only then realizing that it's dark because Sans has wrapped himself around you, his hand protectively over your head, pressing it against his shoulder. Papyrus slowly sits up on your other side, gradually releasing the hold he has on you and Sans both.

" **welp,** " Sans says into the sudden silence, making you jump. " **that one wasn't so bad.** "

"NYEH!" Papyrus exclaims, shaking a fist. "I HATE THOSE! THEY MAKE A MESS OF MY KITCHEN AND I ALWAYS HAVE TO RESET ALL MY PUZZLES IN THE YARD!"

Sans takes his hand off your head, resting it against your shoulder instead. " **you good, kiddo?** "

You nod, and jump again as your phone rings. Fumbling for it with Papyrus' gloves, you frown at the display, which is showing your secretary's number. "It's Kelly."

Sans' hand tightens on your shoulder as he glares at the phone. " **she knows she's not supposed to call you outside your embassy times, right?** "

"Yeah. She does." Giving up on the gloves, you cup the phone in them and bash it with your nose until the call connects. "Kelly?" you say, and blink at the barrage of words that slams into you from the other side of the call. "No, no I'm fine. I'm still getting ready for school." You glance at the concerned faces of the skeletons on either side of you, and bite your lip. "Kelly, I have to go. I'll call you soon." Mashing your nose against the phone again to end the call, you stare at it, trying to stop your hands from shaking. "She wanted to make sure I wasn't on the subway. One of the bridges cracked. There's a train stuck."

Drawing a deep breath, you pull off Papyrus' gloves and hand them back to him. "Papyrus, I need my clothes out of the laundry, please."

"OF COURSE," he says, clutching the gloves tightly. "I SHALL BE RIGHT BACK!"

As Papyrus races from the room, Sans wraps his hands around yours, stopping them from shaking. You look up into the shadows of his eyes, and his hands tighten on yours. " **just tell me what you need, kid.** "

You stare at him as the pieces slowly click together in your mind, and the seeds of a plan begin to take root. "I need a shortcut," you say, and tell him what you're thinking.

A change comes over him. It's subtle, but he shifts from your round, squishy, easygoing big brother into something very, very different. It's not that his appearance changes at all from the way he normally looks. But something in the way he stands there watching you, in the angle of his brows and the set of his grin, makes you feel very sorry for anything that might get in his way.

Not for yourself though. Never that. He holds out his hand to you as Papyrus pounds back up the stairs, and there is no hesitation at all as you reach out and take it.

* * *

Toriel has a way of pinching the bridge of her nose when she's trying to figure out what to say that's sometimes almost worse than getting yelled at. Almost. She's very, very patient, but the nose pinch is there, making you wince.

"All right," she says at last, lowering her hand so she can look at you. "I understand why you recruited this young troll - forgive me…" she holds out an expectant hand toward the troll attempting to cower in front of her - which is not easy to do when you're ten feet tall.

"Um… Philip, Your Majesty," Philip says, trying his best not to loom over your mother as he worries his tail in his hands.

"Yes, thank you. Why you recruited Philip to help you retrieve that imperiled subway and repair the bridge."

"H-he really is amazing with engineering," Alphys supplies helpfully. "I d-don't think human crews could ever have gotten the car down on time, and h-he's already made some f-fantastic suggestions for quake-proofing the other bridges, and-" she trails off, and her cheeks flush pink. "Um, he's very good, is all."

"God, you're cute when you're excited," Undyne murmurs, and Alphys' blush deepens.

Toriel sighs. "Yeeees, I can see all that. What I do not yet understand is why my child is _stuck_ to said clever young troll."

"OH, THAT'S QUITE SIMPLE, MRS. KING!" Papyrus pipes up from somewhere near Philip's left shoulderblade. You're not sure exactly where, since you, Sans, and Alphys are much closer to Philip's right hip. "YOU SEE, IT TURNS OUT THAT SPIDER WEBS ARE QUITE STICKY!"

Toriel plants her hands on her hips and raises a brow.

"That's my fault, Mom," you admit, looking down at her from where you're glued to Philip. Or up at her. The fact that you're mostly upside-down is confusing things. "Undyne was talking to Muffet about my training-"

"She's got some great ideas, too!" Undyne interrupts."I need to talk to you later about adding them to our gym classes, ma'am!"

"-and then the earthquake hit, but Philip is afraid of falling up-"

"Falling up?" Toriel asks.

Philip's ears droop, and he hunches in on himself, prompting an angry exclamation from Undyne, who's up near Papyrus. "You see, the sky is just so… _there_ , Your Majesty."

"Ngggh." Toriel's pinching her nose again. "Yes, I see. Do go on."

"-so I got the idea from those construction guys - remember that one time you made them come to our class about respecting other people 'cause they kept yelling stuff? - I got the idea that maybe we could build Philip a harness out of the webs, and Muffet's spiders helped, and it was going great! We got the subway unstuck and the bridge all set and then the aftershock hit and…" You swallow the words then, but Philip sighs and finishes for you.

"-and then I panicked, and the harness snapped." He lets go of his tail to pluck at one of the strands near you. "I will admit that the elasticity of the web is much greater than I factored into my calculations."

"Oooh," Alphys says, testing it out for herself. "I bet this would work _great_ for some of the projects we're working on."

" **and hey, now we know you're not gonna fall up when the rope breaks.** " Sans shifts aside some of the webs covering his face so that he can wink at Toriel. " **not to make light of a weighty situation.** "

Toriel manages to turn her snicker into a cough pretty quickly. "Yes, well. I suppose there is that. Now then…" She cracks her knuckles, and fire flares at her fingertips, and the lot of you mirror Philip's cringe at the feral edge that creeps across Toriel's expression. "Let us see about getting all of you _down_ …"

* * *

In the end, though she has to call Asgore over from where he's dealing with the press and the repair crews so that he can use his trident for leverage, Toriel manages to get everyone off of Philip and unstuck. Mostly. You'd been closest to Philip, holding his hand for emotional support, which meant you'd gotten an awful lot of web in the snapback, and a bubble bath seemed a much safer way to deal with the worst of it than fire. It's weird having a bath with your clothes on, but until they get unstuck, you don't have much of an alternative.

"So Philip's gonna start his own business?" you ask, one eye closed against errant bubbles as Toriel scrubs your shoulder firmly with a bath brush.

"Yes. Miss Muffet has agreed to help him with some of the initial paperwork in exchange for exclusive provisional rights as his cabling provider, but I believe he will do quite well as an engineering consultant." Toriel sits back on her heels, shifting some of the bubbles aside so she can see you properly. "However did you come up with the idea?"

"I talk to him a lot on my way home," you tell her. "He's really good at it, he was just too shy to tell anyone about what he liked to build."

"Well, whatever you did, it seems to have worked wonders. He and Alphys haven't stopped talking for two minutes, and I don't think I'd ever heard more than two words out of that sweet young troll before."

"He just needed to know people wanted him around," you say, leaning away from the brush as she scrubs at your arm. "Then he likes to talk. I'm glad he's gonna start working."

" **you gotta admit, 'troll bridge' has a nice ring to it,** " comes Sans's voice from deep within the bubbles next to you. " **and with management like that, you know nobody's gonna be *crossing* him.** "

Toriel giggles, scrubbing harder, and with a few popping snaps, the last of the webbing sticking you to Sans finally gives way, sending him sloshing beneath the water. Your mother deftly plucks him out and shakes him a few times to get rid of the worst of the drips before setting him on the tiles. His slippers give a soft squish. "There, now. You can do the rest yourself." Toriel holds up a finger. "Which you _will_ do before you touch anything else in this house! I do not want to be cleaning water stains off my chesterfield again, young skeleton!"

" **what, my dry wit isn't enough?** " he asks.

Shaking her head with a fond laugh, Toriel waves him away. "Off with you, Sans. And thank you for _hanging out_ with Frisk again."

" **heh. good one, tori. and we were happy to help. it may have gotten a bit *shaky* there, but we managed to *stick* it out.** " Sans salutes, and gives you a final wink before he wanders out the door. You watch him go, wondering if his bedroom here has its own bathroom. The one at his house doesn't, but you still haven't found where he sleeps in the Big House.

Toriel sets at you with renewed vigour, scrubbing the final clinging strands of web from your clothes and hair, and your thoughts dissolve into giggles until the webs give up the fight with the warm, sudsy water and dissolve. You cover your face as Toriel pulls you from the bath and rubs her hands together, bracing yourself for the blast of warm air as her magic swirls around you and whisks the damp away. Clean and dry, it's easy enough to change out of your clothes and into the fresh pyjamas she has waiting. Then, you hold out your arms, and nestle against her as she scoops you up and carries you off to your room.

You've told her you're fine, but that doesn't stop her from looking you over once she sits you down on your bed, tsk-ing quietly as she finds an errant scrape and bathes it in healing green fire.

As she works, you wiggle your sock feet and sigh. "I'm sorry things got so messy at the end, Mom."

Looking up from the hand she's working on, Toriel smiles and moves to sit next to you. "I know, my dearest. I would have liked to have things resolved a little more _neatly_ , but I am proud of you." She gathers you into her arms, and you snuggle against her, gently stroking one of the silky ears falling over her shoulder. She's never minded the familiarity, and she knows how much it comforts you. "You helped a great many people today, including one very lonely monster who should not have been overlooked." She pauses, and a gentle hand tilts your head up so that she can look into your eyes. "Oh, my child, have you been fretting all his time?"

You shake your head, smiling. "No. I'm going to try not to get so freaked out when stuff goes wrong any more. I know if it's really bad, you'll help me figure it out."

"I think that is very wise," she says, and nuzzles her nose against yours. "You are deeply loved, my little one. Your family will always be here for you. You know that."

"I know."

Your mother's arms are safety, and warmth, and love, and as you breathe in the sweet smells of cinnamon and _home_ , you can't help but smile. It's going to be a long time before you can stop worrying about all the things that lurk in the edges of your mind, and some days you really understand Philip, wanting to hide under a bridge where it's cold and dark but at least nothing can make it worse. You've been there, and there are some days that are a lot harder than others.

But days like this go a long, long way toward pulling you out of the dark for good.


End file.
